After the Rain
by Killashandra Falta
Summary: This is the sequel to "She Knew Too Much". This story takes place six months after "She Knew Too Much", with Shana and the Doctor travelling in the Tardis in search of more adventures and answers.
1. Chapter 1

The Tardis is a peculiar girl.

She is telepathically linked to her Time Lord, and can see all of time and space all at the same time. Her abilities to see past, present, future(s), what is, what was, and what will be seemed to always have guided the Doctor to all places he needed to be at, not just the ones where he wanted to be at.

Now, there have been those rare times when she was unable to help the Doctor. When she was completely defenseless at the hands of Davros when the planets had been stolen to create the reality bomb. Though, if that hadn't have happened, Donna wouldn't have been trapped inside the Tardis... And the door to the Tardis hadn't closed on it's own... And the timing to have dematerialized at just the exact moment when by all right she might have been destroyed... Well, maybe she was helping then too, it just didn't seem like it...

She also, can't be flown by anyone not a Time Lord... but she has allowed it to happen.

Rose, clearly not a Time Lord... But that was different as well... And Donna, though she was part Time Lord also... Okay, so, maybe those aren't good examples either.

The Tardis is a particular girl, though, when it does come to the companions.

There have been many companions throughout the centuries.

The Tardis has not been kind to all of them.

She did favor Rose, and she spoiled her like a favored niece. The Doctor had never had a problem with it though. She had always found some of the most stunning clothes for her in the Wardrobe, that fit her to a perfect tee. She always seemed to help Rose get to her room faster when she was more exhausted from one of their many adventures. And, on those occasions when Rose was rather miffed at him, hid her room from him so he wouldn't bother her. Not until Rose was ready to deal with him.

Mickey, poor sod that he was, had never really found Rose's room in the Tardis. Whether that was cause the Tardis didn't want him to get any ideas, or maybe it was so that Mickey wouldn't notice that not all the rooms looked like dull gray prison cells, which his did seem to be reminiscent of.

And then there was Adam. Adam the git. The Tardis most certainly did NOT like him. Though Rose had shown him to his room when he had come on-board, apparently his room had shrunken to a five foot by eight foot cell during the night, and disappeared as soon as he had left it. It never did reappear after the Doctor had kicked him out of the ship. He even had to muffle a laugh when the Tardis had point blank told him that she had "ejected the refuse of that stray's existence from her being". Point learned: Don't let Rose bring strays on board unless the Tardis approves.

Martha had dealt with the Tardis, and the Tardis had in turned dealt with her, but for each it was more a clinical existence then anything else. Poor Martha had never felt the loving touch of the Tardis, but some never will.

Donna... The Doctor smiled thinking of Donna. The Tardis loved Donna like a sister. If the Tardis was in human form, he had no doubt she would seem more like Donna then anyone else. Donna's wit, charm, and natural smarts rivaled the Tardis' he thought on some days. And, he knew for a fact that every time Donna had slapped him for idiosyncrasies, the Tardis sent him a mental image of an "Ah-ha! So there! You deserved that!" message. The same could be said when Donna had found him, alone, on some of those nights when his mind could find no rest and was just in need of company. Donna was so good at that. It occurred to him, some times, that on the nights Donna couldn't sleep thry were also the nights when he was most in need of a shoulder to lean on. Whether that was Donna's intuition or the Tardis, neither knew. It wasn't needed to know.

And then there was Shana.

The Tardis is a very peculiar girl when it comes to Shana.

Shana is half Time Lord. But it's more then that. The Tardis favors her. The Tardis loves him, that he knows without a doubt. But, there is just something magical between Shana and the Tardis. As long as he had been with the Tardis, she had created herself, all her forms, to suit herself. She had, of course, designed rooms to make him feel comfortable. His bedrooms had always changed with each regeneration, each mirroring his current sense of mind. But, beyond his rooms, and the Library (which was always the same), every room was how the Tardis preferred.

And she never gave notice when she was changing it.

When Shana came on-board, the Tardis made things and rooms that Shana had designed. Either that were still in her mind, or that she had sketched out. The teleportation room, though currently defunct, had been one such item. Oh, teleportation was very blase, and why teleport when you could so easily land a little blue box? Though, that teleport had been the one thing needed to help save Donna, and he would always be grateful to the Tardis and Shana for that.

Then there was the Atrium. The oxygen factory of the ship. Ever since Shana arrived, the Tardis had made it more then just the dirt and plants it was. Since then, paths had been put in, and little path lights, and fire flies, and every rare once in-a-while, he could swear he saw a whirlla-me scatter amongst the trees. Not to mention the little secluded hide-a-ways that had appeared were probably some of the favorite gems he had found in there so far.

The first had been the pagoda. The one they had needed after Shana had found the Hall of Memory. How she had been allowed to find it... well, that is still a Tardis mystery. But it had been a crush to both their psyches, and the shared trauma had needed a special recovery, and that they had done so in the Atrium. At the Pagoda. He smiled, remembering how the Tardis had supplied them with the Corda, a stimulant that allowed their body to relax and their mind to unclench from grip of traumatic psychic thoughts. She had supplied them with nourishment, and peace and the time to recover.

Several different hidden corners have since appeared in the Atrium, some he has found, some maybe only for Shana... He had seen her naked foot prints in the dirt a few times. (She always takes her shoes off when in the Atrium.) Followed them, only to find they disappeared mid stride, and nothing was around.

Apparently the Tardis likes to help Shana hide from him sometimes. He smiled, thinking about that. Well, they all need a bit of privacy sometimes, and he could never find fault with that.

But it's more then that. The Tardis really does love Shana. The air changes when Shana is around. The Tardis seems to deliver for Shana before she knows she wants something. Not that Shana ever asks for anything. She never does. That seems to make him adore her more. She is always ready to do with whatever is around, and she never, ever asks for anything. Well... No, that isn't exactly true. She did ask for one thing once. And he hadn't done it for her.

She had asked if they could stop so she could get some more sketch books, and they had forgotten to. He remembered it later that night, but they never managed to go back. Every time they had stopped somewhere, it was on his list of things to get her, and every time something came up and it went from the top of the list to the bottom.

Besides... over the last few months, she had stopped drawing. He never saw a pencil in her hand anymore. She had always doodled, or drew before... And her sketch books had disappeared. It had been that there was one in just about every room he came into. One opened, pen laying across it as if she had just stopped mid-thought and ran to get a cup of tea... A small stack next to her bed... A couple on the coffee table in the Library... A small one in the kitchen, half used for things to buy, or notes to leave each other... Actually... Now that he thought about it... When she had first been given a room by the Tardis, she had also supplied an artist's drafting table. The last time he had been in her room, the table was no longer there. When had that happened?

He decided to fix this little fobble. He went to the Console room and programmed a destination for 20th century Earth. Maybe not only can he pop over and pick up some sketch books, but maybe a date to the museum would make her happy. It had been a while since they had done something safe and free from danger. The Tardis landed rather smoothly, probably to let Shana sleep, and he stepped out into an alley in New York City.

* * *

Ahhh... He loved this town. Well, he loved lots of towns, cities, villages... But New York was always different. The sounds, the smells, the taste in the air. It was a city that was more alive then half the humans on the planet. It was one of the first places he had ever been too, and maybe it was always his first love. He smiled, ran a hand through his hair, stuffed his hands into his pants pockets, and shuffled off. Shopping was always easy in New York, and it wasn't too long before he came upon an art supply store. Right next to a used electronics store. He grinned, excited about the possibilities of a double whammy of a shopping day find.

Shopping for Shana was amazingly easy. A new set of charcoals, a dozen sketch books, in three different sizes, a couple of boxes of pencils, erasers, and a carry-all for the supplies. He smiled as he walked into the electronic store, his hands already ladened with Shana's stuff. He perused through the store, seeing a variety of bits and bobs and wires and lights, but nothing seemed to call to him, so he left a bit disappointed that he had nothing for himself.

Right before turning down the alley, back to the Tardis, though, there was one last shop he had to peek into. A quaint old jewelry store. Jackson's Jems the sign above read. He smiled, seeing it was still around. He remembered the last time he had come across this little "gem" of a store.

It had been 1918, and the store had been open for just under a year. The owners, Derek Jackson and his wife Jemma were a quiet, sweet couple. The Tardis had... well, had landed right where she was now, actually, in a small emergency, having had some malfunction that would take a few weeks to repair. The Doctor had found that the Jackson's had a small room for rent over their store, and he, having an eye for gemstones and a rather odd hobby of learning how to cut stones, took a temporary job with the jeweler and helped out for a few weeks while the Tardis repaired herself.

The time spent had been extremely uneventful, but it had been a wonderful break and the Doctor had enjoyed every minute of it. He hadn't thought about that time at all since, but now, seeing the little shop, he smiled and went in.

"Good evening sir, how are you on this fine spring day," A elderly gentleman said behind the main display case.

"Quite well, thank you," The Doctor replied. "Lovely shop."

"Thank you. Been in the family a while. Can I help you find something?" The Doctor looked around a second and then shook his head.

"No, not yet. Just looking for a moment."

"Ahhh... Known her long have you," The man asked, and the Doctor looked at him. "Your lady  
friend. It is rare for an unattached gentleman to peruse a gem store if he were single. Is it her birthday? Or maybe there had been an argument?"

The Doctor smiled. "There is a friend, that is true. But, no. I just like visiting old family shops. They always have so much more... heart to them."

"Ahhh," Sighed the man, smiling. "That they do. Please, feel free to look around. If you need something, feel free to ask." He then picked up a newspaper he had been reading and went upon ignoring the Doctor.

The display cases were small, and the pickings were few. It was no franchise, this little depot. These were carefully picked quality items that hard earned money had purchased for resale. There would never be two of any kind sold here and that, of course, was always a plus in Jackson's Jems. He casually looked over each item, and then stopped, breath caught in his lungs.

"Mr. Jackson...?" The man looked up from his paper, and then folded it as he set it down and got to his feet.

"Find something of interest?" The Doctor pointed to an item in the case before him. The jeweler looked into the glass, and smiled as he looked back up at the Doctor. "Oh what a fine eye you have, sir." He pulled out a key from his tweed vest pocket and unlocked the case. His hand reached in steadily and gathered the ring that had caught the Doctor's eye. He handed it over to the Doctor and pulled out a small board that was wrapped in black velvet.

"Do you... Can I borrow a loupe?" The Doctor asked, his hand shaking slightly as he held the ring. The older man nodded and handed him a jeweler's loupe. The Doctor put the loupe to his eye and peered at the emerald solitaire in the ring. It was easily three-quarters of a carat, and it stood tall. It had been a hard stone to set, given the demands of the style during the time. Apparently the style had never appeased anyone as it still sat in the display case nearly a hundred years later.

He remembered when this particular stone had entered the shop. He had been working, setting a few sapphires into yet another art deco broach when he had felt a tremor in his psyche. A familiar touch that was easily recognized. Being a Time Lord he knew when another was around. He also easily knew who was around.

 _He raised his head as the bell on the door rung as it was opened. He watched as an extremely skinny man walked in. His trousers were too short, his tweed jacket seemed to fit him well enough, and his flock of hair and bow tie simply shouted his age. Well, it shouted for anyone who knew to listen. They each saw each other, and each nodded. He wasn't just another Time Lord. He was him, in the future. The tweed man walked forward, and sighed deeply as he reached into his jacket._

 _He remembered seeing how slowly he had pulled the gem out of his pocket. His hand had been clenched around it tightly, and he could feel the pain in the man's hearts. The tweed man inhaled deeply and slowly opened his hand, showing the emerald as it sat in his palm. The Doctor remembered taking it from his hand, feeling the agony flow from the other._

 _"She loves everything," He had whispered. "But emeralds are her favorite." And, with that, the tweed man turned and left._

 _He had stood there for quite awhile, holding that gem, seeing the light reflect in it. His mind designing a setting, a setting that was not of popular design. But it didn't matter. This stone... This gem, it was not meant for a contemporary of 1918. He had spent days working on the design, the setting, choosing the material. When he had finished with it, Jackson had not been thoroughly happy with it. But, he had said that since none of his money or gems had gone into making it, who could he argue with._

By all rights, he should have kept the gem and not given it a setting, or let Jackson try to sell it. Thankfully, the ring hadn't been sold. Over a hundred years, one would think it would have found an owner. Well... It has an owner... just not at that time. But surely someone would have tried to buy it before he had found it again.

He looked through the loupe now, searching for what he knew should still be there. It had been an inscription he had accidentally come across. Carved into the gem with a micro-laser were the words, "For All of Time". It was engraved in Gallifreyan.

"I'll take it," He said quietly, as he returned the loupe to the older man. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a rather large cache of American currency. The older gentleman stuttered a bit, but the Doctor held up his hand to stop him. "I know this has sat in your store for quite a long time, and I believe it has waited long enough. If I can have a box, and then we'll call it even." The older man nodded, a bit dumb-founded, and absentmindedly reached for a small ring box.

The Doctor deftly tucked the emerald ring into the box, and put it into the inside pocket of his jacket. He walked out of the shop, the weight of the emerald planting him to the Earth, while a million thoughts running through his head. He turned down the alley, and saw his Tardis waiting for him, as she always does. He patted her hull before stepping through the door. He felt her smile in his mind and a question as to where he would like to journey next.

"Nowhere too quickly dear," He said, placing a hand lovingly on the console. His mind reached out to Shana, found she was still sound asleep, and smiled. He picked up his phone, placing a few calls, juggling his sonic screwdriver into the air.

* * *

"You are in a good mood," Shana said, smiling as she came into the room. The Doctor jumped at her words. He had lost the track of time while setting up plans for the night, unbelieving that it could have taken so long. Long enough for her to wake up, shower and dress before finding him, and he hadn't even noticed.

"Oh," The Doctor said, trying to recover his composure. "What makes you say that?"

"Whenever you juggle your screwdriver, you are always in a good mood," She grinned. He came towards her then, smiling.

"How did you sleep?" She raised a hand to his cheek, smiling and leaned in for a kiss. A soft lover's kiss. Her mind opening to his, and his opening to hers. He sighed into her lips, ever loving the intimacy of their link.

"I slept... long enough," He said, when he had pulled his lips from hers. His forehead leaned against hers and she smiled sweetly. He suddenly spun away from her, his mood becoming even lighter. "I don't know what you have planned for the day, but I have made a few plans for us."

"Oh? Do we get to save the world?"

"Nope," He said, popping the last p sound.

"Usher in a new era of enlightenment," She asked, a grin appearing on her lips.

"Nope."

"Have mad, passionate sex on the roof of the tallest building under a double full moon?"

"Hmmm... That would be a bit difficult. Earth has only one moon." He watched her as her eyes grew wide. "Welcome home."

"We are back? Really? Where? When?" He smiled, and held his hand out. She eagerly grabbed it, squeezing it tightly, her eyes alight.

"New York City, 1997." She smiled and pulled him closer to her, giving him a soft kiss, her lips warming his with their caress.

"A great year," She said.

* * *

They walked hand-in-hand as they left the Tardis. Shana grinned from ear to ear, relishing the city as it pulsed under her feet. She loved the city, and was excited about what the Doctor had planned for them. She wanted desperately to know, but she loved surprises more. His hand tightened in hers, and her smile grew.

The Doctor waved down a taxi with a sharp whistle. She was amazed at the volume he had, and laughed when three taxis stopped in the middle of the street. He looked at her, and pulled her hand in the direction of the taxi he preferred. "Allons-y!" She laughed as they ran towards the cab.

They jumped into the car, and immediately the driver asked for their destination.

"East 84th and 5th Avenue if you would," The Doctor had said. The driver nodded and began the drive. They sat in the back seat, Shana smiling as the street scenes flew by, the Doctor enjoy the ride, his hand at home in hers. The ride ended too soon, and they climbed out, the Doctor being overly generous with another small stash of American currency he handed the driver.

Hand in hand they walked down the New York street, and within a few moments, the museum came within sight and he smiled, waiting for Shana to figure out where they were. It took a moment longer then he supposed it would, and as he watched, her face lost a small hint of the glow she had been carrying. Her hand's grasp lightened a miniscule amount, and there had been a tiny change in her footsteps.

These dustings of minor difference would have never been truly noticed by the average human, but the Doctor had noticed it clearly. "Shana, is... are you okay?"

"Hmm?" She replied. He paused in his steps and she turned to face him.

"Shana, what is wrong?" She didn't respond immediately, so he squeezed her hand minutely and waited. "Shana...?"

"We are... going to the museum?" She asked, her eyes not truly looking at his.

"No, I mean, yes, but not yet," The Doctor replied, quickly amending their plans for the day. "Central Park is next to it, and I thought we could spend a bit of time there first." He saw her relax, and then nod, her glow returning, but not as bright as it had been.

 _Something is going on, that is certain,_ he thought to himself now. Now he knew something was bothering her. He was determined to find out what. They began walking again, passing in front of the museum. He felt from her, despair and longing when she looked at the building. As they turned the last corner of the building he felt a last wave of sorrow. Whatever was wrong... He will fix it, he promised himself.

* * *

As soon as they had entered the natural area of the city, a horse drawn carriage had pulled up nearby. He quickly hired it, and the two of them climbed in. She leaned against him, and he wrapped an arm around her.

"Have you been to New York often," He asked her, his fingers gently running through her hair. Her hair was so soft and she was letting it grow from her short hair she had had when they first met.

"Oh yeah," She said, smiling, Her face took on that look he loved when she was remembering some place she had been. She always seems to have some moment from some places she had been that makes her love that particular place. He learned a long time ago, that you can never ask Shana if "such and such" was her favorite place cause she loves them each individually as a parent would a child.

"What's was your favorite part of New York?" She tilted her head in thought, narrowing down her answer.

"The Littles, I think," She said finally.

"The Littles?"

She nodded, smiling. "Little Italy and Chinatown. Well... Little Italy isn't what it used to be... and by 1997, well... it was just beginning to change away from being Little Italy to, ya' know... a normal section of the city. But, yeah, the Littles are my favorite. Let's see... 1997..." She frowned then, and he asked her what was wrong.

"Oh, nothing... I have friends in New York... bands... But '97 is before their time." She sighed softly. "Oh well, plenty more... though... 1997 is Grunge I think... Yeah... No concerts for us then," she said and grinned. "What about you?"

"Grunge?"

"No silly," She said, bopping her shoulder against his. "What's your favorite part of New York. Beause I assume you have been here at least once before."

"Oh, yep," He said, grinning. "Quite a few times. Well, I think it's probably the city itself. It's nearly a life force on it's own." Shana watched him for a second, thinking about his answer, and then nodded.

"You are very right about that. I hadn't thought about it like that, but... yeah, it is." The Doctor smiled, looking deeply into her silver eyes. He took the hand that was holding his, and brought it to his lips for a sweet gentle kiss. Her eyes never left his as he did it, and he could tell her pulse rose when his lips connected with her skin. "Doctor..."

"Hmmm?"

"I am not sure what you have planned for the day..."

"Oi! No asking! I refuse to ruin any surprise I might have actually gotten away with making." She laughed at him then, a great rumbling laugh he loved to hear. With Shana, she can sometimes be a hard book to read. He should know.

In six months he hadn't been able to figure her out, and he had her Cliff's Notes. He did know that, with her, if she loved something, she loved it completely. Don't even question her on it. If she hated something, you better learn to deal with it, because she won't change her mind. Besides that, she was always willing to try to do anything at least once.

"Oh cool your jets silly. I wasn't going to ask that."

"Oh," The doctor said raising an eyebrow. "So... What were you going to say?"

A wicked delight crept into her eyes and her lips curled into a sordid grin. "I do believe, Doctor, it's going to rain shortly."

He looked at her for a fraction of a second before he understood. "Driver, we will get out here if you don't mind."

"Sir? Are you sure? I think the lady is correct and it may rain very shortly."

"Oh, I am very much sure." The carriage came to a halt, and the Doctor leapt out of it. He reached up and held out a hand for Shana to get out. She gracefully took it, and exited the carriage quite easily. They waved off the carriage, and then holding each other's hands tightly, they ran.

They ran like children fresh out of school. They laughed and stole looks at each other as their feet pounded in joy as they ran to the center of the park. They had just reached the area when she felt the first drops of rain on her face. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, her breath heavy as she tried to catch the air to fill her lungs after the run. He held her, his face watching hers until she grinned. She leaned in to kiss him, just as the first rumble of thunder rolled through the park.

She moaned into the kiss, the rumble of the weather lighting up both of their senses. "Are you ready," she whispered when he had pulled back from the kiss.

"Always," he said, his arms wrapping tighter around her. They both closed their eyes, hoping that the rain would deliver to them. It was sometimes a toss up, whether or not the conditions of the weather would speak to them. Sometimes, the weather would fail them, and they would end up soaking wet, and all hot and bothered. But, more often then not, now-a-days, the weather delighted in giving them it's magic.

As the rain began to pour down, their senses lit up. As the drops hit their skin, it made a musical sound. Each rainfall was different, and always left them feeling a new version of joy and peace. The air around them danced in the music, and suddenly, from close by, lightning struck. It had been extremely close, the Doctor's hair standing on end, and it fired him up. As she had felt the electricity flow through her body she felt him harden against her.

The rain danced and sang for them, the lightning striking all around them, each time bringing her to a new height of bliss. She realized then, that she had been kissing the Doctor. Or was it he was devouring her? It didn't matter, she scolded herself. The storm was rising, her skin called, begging for each drop to hit her, it's touch sending off new spirals of ecstasy in her being. The storm came harder and faster, and soon she was was lost in the powerful orgasm of the weather as it carried her higher and higher.

* * *

She awoke, finding herself laying on a park bench, her head in his lap. His fingers were absent-mindedly caressing her hair, but he seemed to be asleep. She closed her eyes, relaxing deeper feeling his fingers in her hair.

"You are amazing," he whispered.

"That was a bit more powerful then I had expected," she replied, grinning. He leaned down, his lips softly caressing hers.

"A bit more then I had expected as well," he admitted, returning her grin. He leaned his head back along the bench, and sighed deeply. "You know, I had some plans for the day..."

"Did I ruin them," she asked, sitting up abruptly, hoping she hadn't upset him. He quickly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer.

"Oh no no no. No, we didn't." He kissed the top of her head, drinking in the sweet coconut smell of her shampoo. "No, but, I think we should go shopping for some clothes. I fear, that any place we go into will frown upon our... appearance." She grinned then, and nodded.

Shortly after they reluctantly got to their feet, she wrapped her arm around his and together they walked to the fabled Saks Fifth Avenue.

* * *

They left hours later, Shana grinning from ear to ear, the Doctor, semi-content.

"I am telling you, it looks good on you," Shana said for the hundredth time.

The Valet outside the entrance waved a taxi down for them, and they hopped in, the driver taking their shopping bags and putting them into the trunk.

The Doctor laughed, finally taking his tie off and shoving it into his pocket. Shana watched, trying very hard to not laugh at loud.

"I don't know why you agreed with the clerk that I should buy that bloody thing," He muttered. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"What? You really don't think bow ties are cool?"

"Only with tuxedos," he muttered.

They had the driver take them back to where the Tardis had been parked, and dropped off their bags before heading out for their reservation for lunch. The Doctor had written the destination down and handed it over to the driver. He was going to keep it a secret for as long as he could.

"What is so special about today," she asked, her fingers twining around his.

"Well, let's see... On Draxal there is a celebration for the anniversary of the King's Celibacy. On Paramore II it's the official first day of the wet season. On-"

"No you goof! For us. Why are you going all out today," She said, laughter lighting her eyes.

"Oh... You mean you don't know?" She shook her head no, her eyebrows furrowing as if to try it figure it out. He leaned in then, his hand cupping her chin as his lips met hers for a long, sweet kiss. "Well, it was six months ago today, when we first met."

She opened her eyes at his words, her head tilting to the side, watching him.

"What... Has it been that long?" Her words were barely a whisper.

"Time is different in the Tardis, but yeah," He said, smiling. She grinned back at him, and then leaned in for a delicious kiss, his lips welcoming hers, her hands running through his hair, and she heard, as her fingers combed through his hair, a soft moan escape him.

She pulled out of the kiss, feeling the cab come to a stop. The Doctor kissed her once more on the tip of her nose, and then handed another stash of currency to the driver. They walked arm and arm into the restaurant, both very content.

* * *

The maître d' had been excited when the Doctor and Shana had arrived. He eagerly escorted them to the Chef's Table, personally opening the bottle of wine that the Doctor had called ahead about. She smiled when he showed her the bottle, the Doctor took the taster's sip nodding his head in approval.

She looked over at him, and he reached for her hand. "A Reisling?" He nodded. She smiled, remembering that night.

Her glass was poured, and she took her first sip, smiling at the taste. Most wines taste bitter to her, but a Riesling has always seemed comforting. She loved the way the flavor laid on her tongue.

Satisfied with the wine selection, he waved over the Chef, introducing them in French, the Doctor smiling and responding to some questions. The way the French language rolled from his lips was mesmerizing to her. Of course, he didn't have to speak French, the Tardis translates easily for them, but he loved to show off. She sat there, smiling, watching their faces, trying hard to keep the look of "oblivious" on her face so she didn't know that despite the fact that it was the Chef's table, that the Doctor wanted her to have a few specific things.

Normally, at a Chef's table, you eat whatever the Chef has decided to make for you. And you never, not ever, ask for a different item instead of the one he (or she) has so graciously decided you should have. Unless the Doctor insists on having his way, apparently.

A decision (or compromise) was reached, and the maî·tre d' left them. Shana watched the bustle in the kitchen, her finger slowly going around and around the rim of her wine glass. Suddenly, she felt the Doctor's hand on hers, stopping the movement.

"Shana?"

"Sorry, what?" He looked at his hand on hers, keeping the finger from moving around the lip of the glass. He gave her a small, weak smile.

"Sorry, but it was... disturbing the cooks." She looked at him puzzled and he nodded toward them and then back at her glass.

"Ohhh... Sorry. I didn't even realize..." She hadn't even heard the sound of the glass singing. She moved her had off the glass, but not away, keeping the Doctor's finger's wrapped around hers.

The Chef approached their table, setting down a lovely asparagus salad that was topped with a golden Nasturtium. They ate their salad quietly, and Shana smiled, watching the Doctor pick up the bloom and eat it as well.

"What," The Doctor asked, seeing her smile.

"Only you would eat the flower without thinking about it."

"It's edible." Shana nodded. "So, why shouldn't I?"

"I didn't say you shouldn't," She laughed. "Just that few people do."

"But it's lovely. It's like watercress. You should try yours," He suggested. They finished their salads rather quickly, but, in fairness, as with most high end french restaurants, the servings were small.

"How badly have I ruined the day," Shana asked suddenly. He looked at her, his eyebrow rising in query. "I... know you wanted to go to the museum, and then, we did the shopping, which surely hadn't been on the agenda..."

He reached across again, taking her hand in his, and bringing her fingers to his lips. He settled a soft kiss upon her knuckles, and looked deep into her dark silver eyes.

"You have not ruined the day. Ideas of what could be can always change. And, I want you to be able to enjoy the day. If I chose to do something and its not going to be enjoyable for you, then we just wont do it. Okay?" She nodded softly, but still felt like she had ruined it. "What would you like to do?"

She felt his thumb gently rolling over her fingers, softly caressing each knuckle and she sighed. "Just being with you makes me happy," She said, smiling into his eyes. He kissed her knuckles again and released her hand as their meal arrived. She inhaled deeply, smiling at the dish.

"Your favorite," He said, grinning. She nodded, and thanked the Chef. Filet Mignon, with a side of buttered asparagus. "Two asparagus dishes... He wasn't happy, but he thinks you are cute." The Doctor grinned at her, and she blushed a lovely shade of pink.

Their meal had been delicious, hers was, of course, cooked to perfection. And she was a touch embarrassed by the speed in which she had eaten the steak. The Doctor had asked if she wanted dessert, but all she wanted was to walk some of this food off. He nodded understanding. The skinny sod had eaten even more then she had, so he was more bottom heavy then she was, probably. She gave the Chef a kiss on the cheek, and thanked him for the wonderful meal, and then they left.

They walked quietly down the street, small talk fluttered between them. They held hands, each loving the others company, each waiting for the other to break the silence.

* * *

"Ask me," Shana said, finally. The Doctor had heard her, but was not sure what she had meant. "You have something on your mind you want to ask about but won't ask."

"Hmmmm... Yep," He said, and turned to stop and window shop at the store they had just come to. "Are... you happy?"

He felt her squeeze his hand and turned to look at her. "Of course I am. Why do you ask? Are... Are you not?"

"Oh, yes. I mean, no. I mean! I mean I am happy. Yes. I am happy." He hated that answer. He had accidentally hurt her hearts, and then repaired them. He hated hurting her.

She tilted her head to the side and then asked, "Why do you ask?"

He smiled at her, his hand reached up and gently caressed her cheek. "You are so hard to read sometimes... When we first met, you seemed very happy. And you used to draw." At that he felt her stiffen under his fingers. "What is it, Shana?"

She stood there, quietly, his words going around and around in her mind. She worried her bottom lip with her teeth as she tried to find a way to answer him. After a few minutes, he pulled her to him, held her tightly. He ran his fingers through her hair.

"Don't worry about it. Forget I asked. You don't have to answer, okay? Let's just... let's go home, shall we?" Shana nodded into his shoulder, her arms wrapping tightly around his. He waved down another cab, and they got in. No words were said, save the destination to the driver. Once dropped off, they quietly walked back to the Tardis arm in arm.

The Doctor opened the Tardis, letting Shana enter first. He followed, and turned around, making sure the door was secure. When he faced the Console room again, she was no longer there. He closed his eyes, sighing deeply. He walked over to the console and placed a hand onto the rotor.

"I screwed up again, old girl," He said. The Tardis sent him a query, but he didn't respond. The bags from their earlier shopping trip were still in the room, so he gathered them up and took them to their rooms.

* * *

He stopped at his room first, dropping off his bags, and then went to Shana's. He found her door was ajar. No lights inside, but she never closes her door. His hands full, he couldn't knock, but his toes pushed the door open. He was going to set her bags just within the door when he heard a sob.

"Shana?" The Doctor asked in the dark room. There was no immediate reply, but he waited.

"Yeah," she said quietly.

"Um... I have your bags. From shopping..." A good, true reason to be there...

"Oh... okay," she said quietly. He slowly put the bags down, against the wall the door was on, and hesitated before leaving.

"What's wrong," he asked. He had debated on not asking anything. Or saying something that made it seem like he was oblivious to her. Or blather about something stupid. But this was Shana. Shana prefers honesty and forth rightness above anything else.

"I... I hate this." He inhaled quickly. That was no where near the answer he had thought she would have given him. Of all the answers that had rolled through his mind, this one answer... His biggest fear, was not the one she would say.

"Right," He said, forcing himself into his old "Doctor" mode. "I can understand. It's not a great life. Its good for a bit, but then, yeah. I know. Well, I can take you anywhere you want. You name the place and the time and I will drop you off." His heart ached as he said those words. That he had said the whole thing without his voice cracking amazed him.

"Drop me off...?"

"It's ok. We had the best of times. You were brilliant," It cracked then. She turned her light on that was on the night stand next to her bed, and she stared at him.

"You... want me to leave?" She asked, the words barely above a whisper and catching in her throat. He came over to where she was, and sat down next to her on her bed.

"I don't want you to leave. But this..." He waved his hand, encompassing the Tardis and all their travels. "This isn't an easy life. I understand that you can hate this."

"Oh no Doctor! I don't hate _this_ this!" He looked at her, not understanding. "I love this. I love the travel. I love the Tardis. I love everywhere we go, whether it's another attempt to shorten my life or not," she said, a smile rising on her lips. He smiled too, but was still confused.

"I hate..." She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. Finally she released her breath and her voice was barely above a whisper. "I hate how I am."

He raised his hand, running his fingers through her hair. Her eyes slowly opened and he looked deeply into them. "What do you mean? I am afraid I don't understand."

"I... I used to be so... different. I was strong willed, and never thought anything could stop me. And I rebelled against everything that I thought I should." He nodded, smiling, remembering their first meeting and how she had been so strong and firm and scared the crap out of Jack. "But now... it's so... I wake up in the morning, and I feel great. I feel like things are back to how they were. And within hours... I just feel... unsure. Reserved. Shy. And... Afraid. I hate it."

She started to cry deeper now, the tears pouring down her cheeks. He pulled her closer to him, letting her cry. "I hate this," she said through her tears. "I never used to cry. Not like this. Not all the time."

"When did it change? When did this all start to be like this?"

She sniffled and pulled away from him, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I ask myself that a lot... and... I think I know. I think, it was when you showed me the glowing pages."

He thought back to months ago.

 _"So, what am I looking for?" He reached over, and flipped open to one of the pages that shimmered. She drew in a quick gasp._

"Put the specs on," he said, his head nodding to the book. She looked up at him, tilting her head in query. "The specs let you see the page."

"I can see the page..." She said. He looked at her, and then the page.

"You can see it? What is there?" She nodded. "You see the shimmer? Or... something else?"

"I see a glowing page, but I also see my drawing. Why is it glowing?" She handed him back the specs. She tried to not smile to much, when he put the specs on, but she did shake her head in mirth.

"I can see the page shimmer, but I can't see what's on it unless I wear these," He explained. "River showed it to me. Said there are other pages in there that will show to us in time. It didn't start to glow until a few minutes ago."

"Sorry. I am a bit confused," She said, shrugging her shoulders.

"I haven't the answers, but I will tell you that you drew this page." He looked at her and she nodded, thinking to herself, Well, duh... He grinned at her, and she remembered he can hear her.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"Yes, well, like I said, you drew this page. But the image was not visible to us. But, the Tardis took this image, and probably the information you have in your brain there," he said, poking at her temple. "And built the teleport room."

"Nooooo," She said, denying his facts. "I drew it after that was built... Didn't I?" He shook his head no, but she seemed to not believe him still.

He reached over and flipped the pages until he found the next shimmering page. He still didn't see an

 _image on it, but she was staring at it. He tried to peek into her thoughts, in hopes to see what she sees, but, suddenly she slammed the book shut and threw it across the room._

"What? What was it? What did you see?"

Her eyes stayed on the book, and she seemed frozen in her spot.

"Shana, what did you see," he asked quietly, removing his specs. He saw her slowly close her eyes, inhale deeply, and square her shoulders. "Shana?"

She opened her eyes, looked at him, and quietly said, "I'm going to the kitchen." She got up then, and left. He watched her go in a bit of a shock, from her change. He walked over to the sketchbook and picked up the poor crumpled up thing from the floor.

"What did you see, Shana," He muttered to himself. He flipped it open to where the page that shimmered was, shocked to find the whole page now completely empty. No glow, no shimmer, and no drawing. "What did you see..."

She was watching his face as he remembered that instance. Her eyes were wide, the silver bright, and tracks of dried tears lay down her cheeks. He reached up, pulling some of her hair away from where it plastered on her cheek from the tears, tucking it behind her ear.

"What did you see," He asked softly.

"I... Don't know..." Her teeth worried her lower lip again and she was feeling like she had earlier. Small, weak and pathetic. "I... couldn't draw after that," She whispered.

"You couldn't?"

She shook her head no. "I wanted to. I tried to, but the more I tried, the more I failed. And, it just got... I had to put all the books away. Looking at them just made me seem like a failure. I... I used to love museums... but when we got to the one here... This coldness... I love that you thought about it... about me... but... It hurts to think of everything that is in there that... I can't do it anymore."

He pulled her close to him again, and her arms went around him. He kissed her hair, and thought about how lost she seems. "We'll figure it out Shana. Don't you worry, we'll figure it out."

She nodded her body beginning to relax in his embrace.

 _I just miss being me,_ She thought. He didn't let on that he heard that.

* * *

They had made their way back to the Library, having decided that today is a better day to stay in, then go out. Shana, of course, felt horrible about ruining the day, and refused to believe that she hadn't ruin it. He sat, as always, feet propped up on the coffee table, book in his hand, and his fingers absentmindedly running through Shana's hair as she laid with her head in his lap.

He had been trying to read the same page for the last ten minutes, but was failing miserably. His thoughts kept returning to the time in the park earlier in the day, and the rain. There was only one thing better then the experiences of the weather with Shana, and that was what was distracting him.

"I think, that I will head to bed," Shana said suddenly as she sat up. His lap felt empty now that her head was gone from it.

"Sleep well Shana," He said as she gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. He followed her presence down the corridor to her room and sighed deeply, closing the book and setting it down. He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his fingers holding his head up. In his mind he played all the conversations he had thought about starting with her, and failed to say a word. Again.

He was trying very hard to not think of the park. To not think of the rain, or the thunder, or what happens to him when he is with Shana. Every place they have gone lately seemed to have some weather phenomena that lit their torches. The Tardis is playing matchmaker again, and, outside those wondrous moments... once the storm has passed, it's like they forget who they could be. He stood and stretched, deciding it was going to be another night of cold showers, and he doesn't mean rain.

* * *

He walked down the corridor slowly, his hand absent-mindedly caressing the walls, thinking about tomorrow. He was unsure if they should set the Tardis up for a random trip, or something specific. He smiled, remembering how she looked when she realized they were back on Earth.

 _Join me?_

He stopped in his tracks, unsure he had heard that. He was within feet of his room, so only a few yards away from hers. He turned around and went back to her door. As usual, it was wide open.

He peeked in, seeing that her lights were dimmed down. She was laying down, covered by her duvet, her arms crossed under her head. _Join me?_

"I thought you said you were going to bed," he said as he approached her bed, sitting on the side and removing his trainers. Once they were off, he laid down along side her, propping his head up with one hand while his other reached for her hand, and his fingers softly caressed hers.

"I did," She whispered. She leaned over and kissed him, her lips gently loving his. "I didn't say I was going to sleep," she replied, her voice carrying a small bit of laughter with it. She reached up and began untying his brown and blue swirly tie, her teeth biting down softly on her lower lip. A habit she does whenever she concentrates on something. He smiled, watching her, his lips touching her fingers every so often. She grinned when she had finally freed him from the tie, tossing it to the foot of her bed.

"I didn't thank you," she said, her fingers circling his buttons on his shirt.

"Thank me? For what," He asked, getting lost in the way the candle light danced in the highlights of her hair. There hadn't been candles in here when he came in a few minutes ago, and sent a short, terse message to the Tardis about open flames and matchmaking. The Tardis, as she does when it comes to Shana, pretty much ignored his input on the subject.

"For today. I know you probably had a hundred plans... But I want to thank you for making any plans." He leaned into her again, his lips meeting hers, a sweet, soft kiss before he pulled away.

"Give me just one minute?" Shana nodded, and he stood up. He quickly shucked off his clothes, crawling in under the covers with her. He wrapped his arms around hers, and felt her mind open to him. He returned the gesture, and they laid there quietly for a few minutes, their minds dancing in greeting. "I will admit, I am horrible at making plans," He said quietly. "And there is so much I am still learning about you. But, that will come in time. Just have patience as I learn?"

She nodded, her arms wrapping tighter around him, her head laying on his chest, smiling as she hear the four beats of his two hearts. Behind the hearts, she heard a long, low rumble. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as the sound grew. She smiled then, and looked up at him.

"She thinks she is so damn smart," The Doctor said in a half tease.

"Can ya blame her for trying," Shana said, trying to not laugh.

"Oi! It's like your mother telling you its time to have sex with your girlfriend." She laughed and he smiled as the Tardis piped in the sound of a summer storm into the room.

Shana looked up at him, seeing a small bit of frustration cross his face, and the care he has towards her in his eyes. "Do you trust me," She asked.

He looked at her, and nodded. "Of course I do."

She reached up, her fingertips caressing his temples, and giving to him the memory of the storm from earlier in the day. He had thought it had been powerful then, he hadn't realized how much more it had affected her. He quickly became lost in the storm, in Shana, in time itself.


	2. Chapter 2

Time flows as it does, and trouble beckons the Doctor.

They ran and they fought. They saved the day and they troubled paths of evil.

Finally, there came a reprieve for the need to fight for peace, and the Tardis landed without notice, upon her home rift in Cardiff. She sent a nudge to Shana and the Doctor, telling them to dress and get out.

"Oi is she in a mood today," Shana said as she grumbled from her bed to the en suite.

"She is tired," He said, stretching and scratching at the mop that was his current hair style.

"Aren't we all," Shana mumbled. He had to agree with Shana. They had been pushed lately rather hard by the events and the Tardis. Barely catching their breath before running off to find another set of troubles.

* * *

"So, where we at," Shana asked as she entered the Console room. The Tardis was very quiet. Didn't even acknowledge her, and that is an alarm raising unusual event in itself. However, Shana and the Doctor were so worn out, they hadn't noticed.

"Cardiff. Just over a year after we met," He said, gathering his overcoat.

"Think Jack is here," Shana asked, hoping. She hadn't seen him in a long time, and was missing his banter. The Doctor saw that she reached into a cubby under the console, grabbing her electronic gadgets, giving her a half smile.

"Itching to hack?"

"No... Not 'itching' to... While here, I could use a few updates, and check on the systems... Like Jack's."

"Quite right," he said with a half grin. He offered his hand, and she grasped it, giving him a small peck on the cheek and turning back to the Tardis.

"Call us when you are ready, old girl." No sound returned.

As they left, the Doctor turned to lock the doors, but they were missing.

"What? What? Wha-?" Shana turned at his exclamation, inhaling a sharp breath.

"What the hell? Where is she Doctor?" He turned and looked at her, his face covered in fear. He turned around, looking, and then he felt a hot coal in his hand. He looked quickly to see the Tardis key turn molten red and as he dropped it from the heat, it disappeared before hitting the ground. He felt Shana's fingers wrap around his, but his mind searched for the Tardis. For her echo, her scent, her touch... But there was nothing. "Doctor?"

He circled around and around, hoping to catch a glimpse of the blue box. That she hadn't just left. That she hadn't just disappeared.

He realized, after awhile, that Shana had her arms wrapped around him, holding his head to her, and that he had been crying. She can't be gone. It was the only thought in his head. The only thing that kept running through his thoughts. She can't be gone. Shana held him, sending him loving caring thoughts, though none were able to break through his broken hearts.

Daylight broke through the thin curtains, burning past his closed eyelids. He turned away from the light, bringing the blanket that covered him up over his head. He closed off the world, and fell back into his world of nightmares.

* * *

Shana had seen him move, watched as he pulled the blanket up and turned away from her and the world. She closed her eyes and exhaled the breath she had held when she realized he was awake. It had been a wasted effort. He doesn't even know she is in the room.

* * *

She closed her eyes, sending her mind out to search, again, for his Tardis, but she was no where. She went back to her computer screen, but was only able to rethink the last few days. She had been as shocked as he had when she saw that the Tardis had simply disappeared. Not dematerialized. No, there is a sound with that. No, she had just stopped existing. Her keys had burned up before leaving reality. The Doctor had been lucky, as his key had been in his hand. She on the other hand, had been wearing hers around her neck. Her fingers went up to the scar from where the burn had been, fingering it's shape. She had healed fast, from the burn, thanks to her Time Lord genes, but it scarred, which she hadn't expected. But she would much rather have a scar, then no reminder at all.

It was then that he broke. He hadn't believed it when he realized she was gone. He looked frantically around, spinning until he fell, his hands holding his head, pitiful sounds escaping him. And then, the two words that he said over and over, that shook through his body, that he screamed at night, that he believed was that whole and complete truth; "I'm alone."

It had been hard, finding a place they could lay low at, while she searched for friends and answers. She had found a room for rent over a pub one block away from the rift. If- No! _WHEN_ the Tardis returns, she should be able to hear it from there. She had managed to half-carry, half-drag the Doctor to the room, but he never left it after. She stayed here, all day, watching him, sometimes talking to him, sometimes holding him... She had to be here for him. Even though he doesn't know she is there.

She turned back to her computer, glad she had grabbed it before they had been left by the Tardis. It was her lifeline now. Through it, she could find the people she needed, get the money they needed to survive with, and, most importantly, create their identities.

* * *

The Doctor had been wrong, as he tends to be, on exactly when they had landed at. Cardiff he had gotten correctly. 2013, yeah, not so much. Apparently, the Tardis had arrived in 2012. Days, apparently, after she had met the Doctor. Which means that Jack, and anyone who could help her were halfway across the galaxy, hiding on a planet, one second out of sync with the rest of the universe. Brilliant. The worst part of that is the fact that she could, technically, still be considered the property of the Sixth Family of Harrium right now, her freedom not being given for another few months.

Being in 2012 is not a horrible thing though. In two days, a Tardis will arrive. She just has to contact it. The problem though, would be the fact that it would have the Doctor crossing his timelines, or she's screwing up the past... And then... There is Rose.

Rose would help instantly. She knew that without a doubt. And, Rose loves the Doctor deeply. She has no jealousies over that. The only fear Shana has, is the Doctor himself. In his despondent state, what damage could seeing Rose again do to him. She closed her eyes, sighing deeply.

And that was when she heard it.

At first, she thought maybe it was her imagination.

 _Vworp._

 _Vworp._

No!

 _Vworp_.

Yes!

 _Vworp._

She jumped out of her chair, flew through the door to the rented room, bounded down the flight of stairs and ran as fast as her feet could carry her, to the Rift.

 _Vworp._

Tears streamed down her eyes as she saw that beautiful blue box. She felt the tickle of the Tardis in her mind and about jumped for joy.

And then her hearts crashed into her throat.

The Doctor had just exited the Tardis, and turned to smile at her.

"Hello, Shana," He said, his smile broad and sweeping, his hair cascading over his high forehead, partially sheltering his right eye. His fingers straightened his bow tie, waiting for her to greet him.

"Hello Doctor," she said with a slight smile.

"Not whom you were expecting," He asked, and she heard a sadness touch his voice.

"To be honest, no," She said, and she saw that he had been hurt by her answer. "Not you, the Tardis. I was hoping it was ours... returning."

"Oh, right! Yes. Ummm, no, sorry." She closed the distance between them, and wrapped her arms around him. He closed his arms around her, inhaling the scent of her, feeling her body against his and smiling. "Oh how I have missed you," he whispered.

Her arms tightened around him and she released the tears she had kept in check the last few days.

"Shhhh, it's all right," He said, and then she felt him, his touch in her mind, the last bit that made the pieces fall into place, confirming that he was the same soul, if not the same man.

"I don't know what to do. I am so lost... She just... disappeared... and he..." She stuttered trying to let go of the horror she had been dealing with. "I can't even feel him in my mind anymore."

She finally pulled away, her grip releasing the thin doctor and he brought a hand up, cupping her jaw and looked deep into her eyes.

"We will figure it out, ok? Do you trust me?"

She worried her lower lip, but nodded, "Always."

* * *

Shana walked the Doctor up to their room, where her Doctor lay in bed. She laid her head against the closed door, inhaling deeply. The Tweed Doctor watched her, worried.

"Shana, are you ok?" She nodded and then looked at him.

"I know you are him, and he is you. And... I can feel you in my mind... But it's different then his space in there... and... It's like... he's gone too." Tears poured down her eyes, and he pulled her towards him again, holding her as she let her sorrow go. Finally she inhaled the last cleansing breath that follows a good cry, pulling away from him. She nodded, but to nothing in particular, and then opened the door to their room.

Her Doctor laid where he had been, still covered in the blankets, dead to the rest of the world. The Tweed Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver and flipped his wrist, the end of the screwdriver popping open. He waved it at his earlier self and then read the readings. He flicked his wrist again, and then tucked the screwdriver back.

"Well?" Shana asked, worry dripping form her words. He sat down, running his hand over his face, his eyes not truly leaving his previous body. "Doctor?"

"It's not good," he said quietly, his mind trying to fly around possible answers. "If I could, I would take him immediately into the Tardis, get him hooked up in the Sick Bay, and then work and wait."

"Why can't we do that then," She asked, her heart starting to flutter over the possible chance of helping him.

"Spoilers," He said, grinding his teeth. He hated that word right now.

"What the hell does that mean," She spat at him.

"My Tardis is from his future. He doesn't know her like he will. It wouldn't be good to let him near her in her time."

"But... On Rosantalidan, he was in your Tardis then. And you were in his."

"That was different. I can go into the ones from the past because I already know them. He was able to be in mine because he couldn't hear the Tardis at all."

"Not until I helped him," She whispered and the Tweed Doctor nodded. "So... we just have to... Find a version of you in the past."

"That would not be wise, but it may be the only thing to help. But, I would suggestion only finding the one right before him." Shana agreed with that, and her mind started to try to remember his wheres and whens. "Shana... There is one complication though..."

"No, I thought it over. It won't be a problem."

"Shana," He tried again. "You don't understand..."

"Yes, I do. It won't be an issue."

"It's a big issue. It could make things not great." She looked up at him, and shook her head at him.

"It's not an issue. And we will find this Tardis, and help him come back around, and there wont be any issues except finding his Tardis."

"You don't understand," He sighed, standing up, walking over to her Doctor and watching him carefully.

"I do understand. You aren't listening."

"I am listening," He said to her, his volume a bit higher as he spun around to face her. "You don't understand. It will involve Rose."

"I know it will," she returned, watching him.

"You... know?" He sat back down, his eyes not leaving her.

"Look, it's tricky, I admit that. But, we can get Rose to go home for a bit. Or she could maybe help, but that's probably not advisable... But, Rose or no Rose, he needs the Tardis." He nodded slowly, agreeing to that at least. They both watched the Doctor, laying under the blankets, oblivious to everything. "It's like he isn't even there," She whispered. The tweed Doctor looked over at her, his hearts feeling her pain.

"Do you have an idea of where we can find the... damn, with three of us now, it'll get difficult in the pronoun division." She gave him a weak smile at that. "Well, just call me John for now then. John Smith."

"Glad to meet ya, John" She said, a smile returning to her lips.

"Ok, so, first thing we have to do is find the other Doctor."

"I think I know where he is," She said, grinning.

"Where then," The Doctor- John had asked.

"Utah," she replied back, watching him. She watched as the information cracked through his skull, and then she saw a shudder go through him.

"Henry Van Statten," John growled through clenched teeth.

"Yep. It's this year, only a few days away, and, it's easy to get into."

"Shana, I don't think I can go with you." She looked up at him, asking him why he couldn't. "He nearly got Rose killed. I... had to choose between her or... saving everyone from the Dalek."

"But... Rose lived," Shana said, trying to figure out how that was possible.

He nodded. "The Dalek chose to not kill her."

"The... Dalek _chose_ to not kill her? What? Huh? I don't think I understand"

"I wouldn't lose sleep over not understanding it. Trust me... I've rolled it around in my brain for a few centuries. I still don't understand it." He inhaled and slowly released the breath. "If I went there... If I saw Van Statten... He won't live."

She saw him, saw his face, the firmness in his jaw... She could feel it in the air around him, and knew that what he was saying, it wasn't a warning. She reached across, giving him her hand. He slowly took it, wrapping his long fingers around her, sighing deeply, his eyes closed.

"I will just need a ride there. You don't have to get me into the bowels of the bunker, just anywhere near."

"You would go, alone?" His eyes opened, growing wide as he looked into hers.

"I would do anything for you. Besides. It's only a bunker, a few miles below the surface. Protected by a security system I know intimately. Also, there is a guy there I happen to know. He owes me a favor or three. He's a genius, but daft. Doesn't know a good idea from a bad one, and thinks he's better then everyone else."

"Don't tell me his name is Adam," The- John laughed.

Shana smiled, nodding. "Yep. It is Adam. Met him did ya?"

"Are you kidding? Rose invited him along after," He rolled his eyes remembering that mindless pretty boy, and the way he had looked at Rose. "He didn't stay long. Kicked him out a few days later."

"Smart move," she said, grinning, thinking she would have to look him up on the Tardis Log once... she got the Tardis back. "So, here is what I am thinking; You pop me over there, and then come back here. Help the Doctor or babysit him, if you can. Jack should return in a few days, and can help, but I don't think I will be gone long."

"And Rose?"

"Probably the best thing would be to send her home for a few days. Having two Doctors in the same room is hard enough... Having three and the woman you all loved deeply... I don't wanna even think about how bad that could go." She could just imagine the scene, and quickly tried to shove it into the back of her mind.

She looked over at her Doctor, curled up into the fetal position, cocooned in the blankets and her hearts ached for him.

"If... you don't mind... I would like to spend a little bit of time here, with him, before we go?" John nodded placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I will go prepare the Tardis. You come down when you are ready." She nodded and he left.

Shana sat quietly, watching him lay there. She didn't know if he was awake or asleep, all she knew for certain is that he was in terrible misery. She got up for her chair, toed off her trainers, and cautiously crawled into the bed with him. She aligned her body to his, wrapping her arm around him.

"I am here, Doctor," She whispered in his ear. He didn't make a move. She was holding him as close to her as she could. If it weren't for his body temperature and his solidness, she would never have know he was there. He was like a shell. Everything that made him _him_ was gone.

 _I am here, Doctor. I don't know if you can hear me, but I am here. I have a plan that should help us get the Tardis back... I have to leave here for a few, but, someone will be here, if you need anything. I... I know... I know it's dark right now. I know you feel alone but you aren't. I am here. Don't... Don't give in to the darkness. I need you. I can't lose you..._

She inhaled deeply, memorizing his scent, running a hand through his hair. "I need you," She whispered to him, hugging him tightly. She sighed, releasing him and slowly turned around and sat on the edge of the bed. She pulled her trainers back on, gathered her electronics, and left, softly closing the door behind her.

She made it to the tweed Doctor's Tardis, but on her way there, she nearly ran back, changing her mind, wanting to stay with her Doctor. Telling herself there might be another way, but her mind overruled her body, and she trudged forward.

The Tardis door opened for her before she could put her hand on the handle. She came in, seeing the Doctor at his console.

"I am ready, Doctor." He turned around and nodded before going back to the controls. "Doctor, you have _got_ to promise me you will hurry back as fast as possible so you can be there for him.

"I will Shana," He said, looking his most serious. "I promise you I won't fail you on this. Are you ready? It should be a quick hop. She nodded and he got the Tardis in flight.

As soon as she had started to move, she stopped, and for an instant, Shana feared this Tardis was doing what had happened to the other, but was quickly reassured by a soft touch in her mind that she knew was the Tardis.

"Ok, here we are, the pit of hell, also known as Van Statten's bunker. Are you sure about this, Shana?" She nodded. "Ok, one more thing I will give you before you leave..." He reached into his tweed jacket and pulled out a ring. Simple silver, with some electronics fused to it. "This perception filter should help you while down there. Just... Shana... You will have to remember... there are two horrors down there; Van Statten and a Dalek. Be wary of each, ok?"

Shana took the ring from him, and wrapped her arms tightly around him again. He, in turn, hugged her fiercely hoping she would be able to accomplish this mission. She finally let go, and she nodded at him. He smiled remembering that habit and what it meant: I am ready to do it and I will succeed.

He put his forehead to hers, saying softly, "I have faith in you, Shana. And I promise I will hurry back and help, as if no time has passed at all." He then reached over the console, picking up a post-it note with something written in Gallifreyan. "This is the co-ordinates he will need. Be careful."

"I will Doctor, I promise." She took the notes, put them in one of her pockets and headed out.

* * *

Utah... 10 miles from the middle of Nowhere.

It was early morning, the sun had just crested over the horizon, and the night time crickets had just stopped chirping.

Shana had her perception filter ring on, her pocket knife in her right hand, and her various computer needs arranged where they were most comfortable on her body. Her pad attached to her upper right thigh, her mini-pad and lock pick on her left forearm and her laptop strapped down in her backpack.

She slowly, quietly, and as casually as she could, approached the bunker's entrance, the Doctor having brought her in past the first set of guards. There was a second set of guards at the first entrance into the bunker and she prayed that the ring would work like it's supposed to. She reached into her pocket for a tiny pebble she had picked up as soon as she had left the Tardis, and tossed it to her left. The guards both turned and looked in that direction, and she managed to easily sneak past them.

Two feet beyond them was the first major CCTV camera. She held up her pocket knife and pushed one of the dozen buttons on the side, smiling as she heard a tiny popping sound coming from the camera. _The Doctor may have a screwdriver, but everyone can use a knife,_ she thought with a wicked grin.

This was the process all the way down until she got to the exhibit room. The room was incredibly vast, but some of it's collection were rather gruesome, even for an egotistic human. Bits and bobs of electronics, space debris, meteors and metals she could easily understand. It was the dissected, stuffed parts of sentient beings that turned her stomach. She tried very hard to ignore the flesh aspects of the displays as she looked for the Tardis.

One blue police box was not hard to find. She grinned finally seeing it. Though she wanted to run, she had to keep an eye on where the CCTV cameras were, and of course, to not touch anything, so that the alarms could remain turned off. The closer she got to it, the bigger her smile became. As she finally stood in front of it, she realized she wanted to hug the silly ship. Pushing that thought away, she knocked on the door, hoping it would allow her access. Her heart tugged at her, and she instinctively raised her hand to where the scar on her chest was. Where the Tardis key had been. The door in front of her clicked and opened inward, welcoming her.

As she closed the door behind her, she inhaled deeply, memorizing the scent of the ship, realizing for the first time how badly she missed her Doctor's Tardis. She came forward to the console, her hand reaching for the time rotors. "Hi old girl. Thank you for letting me in." She felt a light graceful touch caress her mind and knew she was welcomed.

Shana crouched down on the floor, next to the console, and took her laptop out of her backpack. Popping it open, she hacked into the CCTV to see where the Doctor and Rose were. And, of course, the Dalek. She knew, from the partial memories of the Doctor that he had accidentally given her months ago and the conversation from the tweed Doctor, what will happen here. Shana's largest fear right now is not being able to stay back instead of running out there to help them. She just has to keep telling herself they will be all right.

Finding the Dalek on the CCTV was easy. She just had to follow the bodies prone on the floor. Finding the Doctor... _He will be ok. He will pull through this._ Finding the Doctor wasn't hard to do... Staying in the Tardis, however... She struggled to remain where she was, watching the screen, seeing the Doctor trussed up. Anger boiled in her blood for anyone to do that to anyone, let alone her Doctor.

 _Doctor... just hang on. Just hang on. It's not as bad as you think. This is cake. Just hang on,_ She said to herself, watching him being tortured repeatedly.

 _Shana?_ She blinked. She sat for a moment, unsure what she thought she had heard.

She didn't hear it again, so went back to the CCTV. Her stomach knotted as she saw Van Statten turn up the dosage of the radiation. Her fingers started moving over her keys, hacking into the power system. She could reduce the power and he may not notice it. She was shocked, when the radiation levels appeared on her screen.

How the Doctor hadn't died yet, she had no idea, but Van Statten was going to pay for this.

 _Hang on Doctor. God let this work! Just don't pass out. Fight it. Hang on,_ she managed to reduce the radiation by half without changing the light show. She growled, alone in the Tardis, seeing the glee on Van Statten's face as the torture continued.

 _Just hang on so you can kill him when he lets you go._

 _Shana?_

She DID hear it that time!

 _Shana? Are you here?_

 _Doctor? You can hear me?_

 _Yes! I... I can't..._

 _Doctor, save your strength._ She didn't know how he knew her, or from when he knew her, but that is something she will have to look into later. Right now, he had to survive. She saw Van Statten increase the levels again, and hit the Doctor with them again as she was trying to reduce the levels to bearable.

 _Shana... Save Rose._ He was losing the battle.

 _I will, but you have to hang on._ He didn't respond that time, but Van Statten had moved away from the laser. Makes it easier now, to help him.

Suddenly the loud speakers in the bunker called out, "Condition Red! Condition Red! I repeat! This is not a drill!" She then saw Van Statten release the Doctor from his restraints. She saw on one of the CCTV screens the Dalek accessing a computer terminal.

"Good idea," she whispered to herself, and then hacked into Van Statten records, duplicating everything and taking it all.

 _Save Rose, please Shana._

 _She will be safe, Doctor._ Shana half ignored everything around her, her fingers dancing over the keyboard, her mind in hack mode.

 _Rose!_ Shana looked up at that, saw on the screen where Rose was trapped with the Dalek. Her fingers paused at the keys when she heard his pain. Her hands clenched, wishing she could do more then she was trying for. _Rose!... I killed her..._

Shana could do nothing but watch... His hearts breaking. She closed her eyes to his pain. Then she felt a joy come from him. She looked up again, seeing the Dalek standing with Rose. Shana released a breath she didn't know she was holding. She's safe...

The Doctor had been right. If he had come here, he would have killed Van Statten. And she would have helped him.

Shana diverted her attention from Rose and the Dalek and focused on the files. Grabbing every ounce of information. In a corner of her mind, she felt him, his joy that she was alive, shortly after, his anger and fear. She checked the monitor again, seeing him holding a large weapon. The man that never would... She watched him lower the weapon, a small miracle on its own. But then, the Dalek committed suicide and it was finally over.

It played out as it had before, the memories in her mind now matched. To watch it, feel it, first hand...

The last of the files finished their download, and after a few file changes, she grinned. She sent an all points bulletin out to all of Van Statten's employees, investors, business associates, and anyone else he may have had contact with. Her fingers were still flying across the keys when she heard a key clicking into the Tardis door. She hit "enter" on her last order, folded the screen down, and stood, nervously waiting.

"Shana? Are you here?" She saw him enter slowly, and she peeked her head around that console. He grinned seeing her, and ran to hug her. She was going to have to tell him she didn't know him yet, but he was giving her one of the best hugs she had ever had. "What are you doing here? How did you get here?"

"It's a long story, and we have to talk," She said, slowly ending the hug. She pulled back a bit, and he looked into her eyes. A small change then occurred between them, and she knew that he saw she didn't know him yet. "We have to talk, yeah?" He nodded, releasing her, smiling a large smile still at her. As he went to the console, she saw Rose for the first time.

 _The Legendary Rose._

Shana walked forward, seeing a bit of jealousy in Rose's eyes at her. She stuck her hand out and introduced herself. "Hi Rose. I am Shana. It's an honor to meet you." Rose slowly took Shana's hand and they shook, Rose remaining wary.

"Doctor, what are you doing standing inside a box? Rose?" Shana turned at the voice. And there he stood. Her lips turned into a partial snarl, and her eyes narrowed. She quickly leaped over to tackle Adam, tossing him to the ground.

"Wha-? Get off me!" Shana started to throttle the hell out of the boy, wrapping her fingers around his neck. She banged his head onto the grating floor of the Tardis.

"You! You insipid bastard of a slag in heat!" Her fingers were wrapping tighter around his throat as she marveled at the various colors of blue and purple that appeared on his lips. Suddenly she lost her grip as the Doctor picked her up, pulling her away from her victim. He wrapped his arms around her, pinning her arms tightly to her sides.

She watched as Rose helped Adam recover from the attack, then her amber eyes turned to Shana, the heat of anger nearly slicing into her.

"Who the hell are you and why were you trying to kill him?" Shana looked at Rose, then to Adam, who was rubbing his neck, where two large purple hand-shaped bruises were appearing. Adam stared at her, and then looked at Rose. Shana returned her eyes to Rose, and exhaled an angry breath. She closed her eyes, centered her thoughts, and sent a message to the Doctor, _I'm sorry. I am ok. I won't do it again._

 _If Rose weren't here, I'd help you kill the bastard. I'm letting you go, okay?_

Shana nodded and felt his arms relax. They both walked over to where Adam was still on the floor. Rose got up, standing between the two warring factions.

"Adam, I won't say I am sorry. You know why I want you dead. The Tardis is neutral ground, you understand?" Adam, nodded, his head barely moving because of her attack. "You stay out of my room. You stay away from my stuff. You touch NOTHING electronic on this ship. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," he said hoarsely. Shana nodded, and turned back to the Doctor.

"Doctor, we need to talk." The Doctor nodded, and watched Shana pick up her electronics, and headed out of the console room.

"Who is she, Doctor," Rose asked, still in a bit of a shock from the attack.

"A old friend. Get Adam something to eat and a room, k?"

"How did she get in the Tardis?" The Doctor looked at her, and then at the console.

"The Tardis has some secrets she tells no one," He said with a shrug of his shoulders, and then left the console room as well.

His mind was moving at a thousand kilometers per second. His thoughts should be making a wake of sonic booms as he thought over all that had happened in the last few hours. He had locked Rose in with a Dalek. He had thought she had died, and his hearts had broken. He had done the perfectly acceptable thing that any Time Lord should have done, and sacrificed one tiny ape for an entire planet. And he would never do that again. He could never sacrifice Rose again.

He stumbled, his boots catching on the carpet of the Tardis. He caught himself, straightened his leather jacket, and continued, heading to Shana's room.

Shana.

How the hell did she get here?

But she is the Shana before she knew him. Before she gave him the anti-plastic and to go to Henrik's. "It'll change your life," She had said.

He was out of breath as he came to her door. It was ajar, as usual, but, he choose to knock, seeing as to how she doesn't know him yet. She opened the door, and smiled at him.

He tried to smile back, but instead fell into her.

"Doctor!" They both landed hard onto the floor, Shana pinned beneath him, and he was out cold. She quickly crawled out from under him, and pulled him into her room. She closed the door, locking it, and turned to see next to him, a slew of medical contraptions and kits, thanks to the Tardis.

She quickly removed his jacket and vest, swearing under her breath at the radiation burns that marked his torso. She checked his pulse, and her hearts skipped finding his pulse so weak.

The Tardis had supplied saline solutions which she quickly set up a IV for, grateful her Doctor had taught her some trauma care. She felt heat pouring off the Doctor and didn't need to take his temperature to know he was burning a fever. She reached into the Medi-kit, finding the pre-measured syringes for radiation poisoning. She quickly injected him, wishing she could get one of the tubs in here so she didn't have to drag him down to the Sick Bay.

She felt the Tardis' touch in her mind, and looked up to see a tub now only a few feet away and filled with a green gel. She sent the warmest thank you to the Tardis, and quickly got to stripping the Doctor's clothes off of him, whispering to him encouragements, that she was there, that he was safe, that everything was fine.

In a corner of her mind, she wondered how she had gone from trying to save one Doctor, to finding another that needed her just as badly.

"Shana...?" She looked at him, his eyes half open, glossed over from pain.

"I am here. I need to get you into the tub... Think you can help me?" He nodded, but his body made no motion to move. Shana rolled him over, onto his stomach then reached up under his armpits, and pulled him to his knees. With all her might she raised him to his feet. He wobbled a bit, and she tried to steady him.

 _Tub..._

"Yep. Need to get you there. Just one foot. Move one foot. There ya go. Now the other. There ya go. Good job. Now the other..." This was her mantra. To move the solid Time Lord five feet to the tub that would help heal him. Getting him there was going to be the easy part... She had no idea how to get him in it. "One more. Come on Doctor."

She had been so focused on his knees and feet, she hadn't realized he had passed out again.

"Come on Doctor, one more-crap! Wake up..." _Doctor... come on... Doctor... DOCTOR! The Daleks are here!_ It was a horrible nasty trick, but it brought him to.

"Where?"

"We're safe, but I need you in the tub to help us. Hurry, please?" His blue eyes looked at her, and she saw a deep sadness there, and then he steeled himself and grabbed a hold of the tub. Grunting with pain, he managed to get one leg over the side of the tall tub before falling in as he passed out.

Shana quickly reached into the green gel, and pulled his head above it, clearing his airways before trying to settle his body into a more natural position. She knelt down there, holding him up, afraid to let go. The green gel and it's natural anesthetic numbing her hands and lower arms, but she refused to submit to the loss of feeling.

Several times he made a movement, partially came around, asking about Rose, or herself, or the Daleks. She hated that she had had to trick him, this poor old warrior. She rested her head down on the lip of the tub, feeling the muscles in her back and shoulders cramping.

"Shana?" Her name roused her out of the sleep... had she been sleeping? Her fingers and hands were numb from the goo. She raised her head and saw the Doctor was sound asleep in the tub. His feet had moved so that there wasn't a fear of him drowning in the now blue colored goo.

"Shana, are you in there?" It was Rose. She closed her eyes, exhaling a long low breath before answering.

"Rose? Yeah, I am."

"Ummm... Is... I was looking for the Doctor..." Shana closed her eyes at that.

"Yeah? He's not here, but if you find him, remind him I need to talk to him?" She held her breath a moment, and no answer came back. "Rose?"

"Yeah, I will if I find him."

"Don't trust Adam, Rose." She bit her lip, knowing she shouldn't have said that.

"Yeah, 'k."

Shana waited quietly, but apparently Rose moved on in her search. She turned her attention back to the tub, and saw the green goo was draining out. She reached over for the faucet head, and rinsed the Doctor of the remains. Her hands carefully went over his chest, examining where she knew the worst of the radiation had targeted him. He was healing, but it was obvious he would need another soak.

She drew in a sharp breath when his hand took a hold of hers. She looked down, and saw his eyes. He looked like he couldn't figure out if she was there or not. His hand on her's wouldn't help, thanks to the anesthetic.

 _Shana?_ She nodded at him and with a painful sigh he closed his eyes again. His hand released hers, and she stepped away to get another syringe of painkillers. _Shana? Shana!_

 _I am here,_ she said, rushing back. "I had to get you something for the pain." He shook his head no. "Don't go all Time Lordy on me. You are in pain, and I can fix it. Don't be a fool." He relaxed at her words and she prepared the syringe.

 _Rose... is she...?_

"She is safe. She is alive. We are on the Tardis." He nodded, and relaxed and she gave him the second injection. She looked up at him, and saw tears rolling down his cheeks.

 _Doctor, oh my dear Doctor what is wrong? We are all safe. It's ok._

 _I killed her..._

 _You saved her. She is safe, she is on the Tardis._ He closed his eyes, but not relaxing. _Doctor?_ He opened his eyes, looking at her. "Trust me?" His eyes bored into her, as if those two words had cut through the pain and meds.

"Always." That one word. He said it clearly and crisply and with all of his soul. He closed his eyes, he exhaled a long, slow breath.

Shana cleared her mind, and reached for his temples. She instantly knew she couldn't stay long there. She had to find the one kernel of doubt that had planted itself in his mind and remove it, and quickly get the hell out. It being freshly planted, it had to be close.

She carefully reached out with her mind, trying to ignore everything around her. Her touch was all over his mind... Doubt. Just get that doubt, and get out, she told herself. A few seconds later, she found it.

It was like a glowing seed, its tendrils reaching out, trying to take root... She reached for it, her fingers touching it, and it shrunk back from her, it's tendrils whipping back to protect itself. She touched it again, and this time, the spot she touched turned black, as if burned. Her hand reached forward, grabbing it, and pulling it to her, and she felt it shake in her arms, and then it turned solidly black and crumbled to a pile of dust. As soon as she knew that it was gone, she quickly retreated, and removed her fingers from his temples.

She opened her eyes, and saw him watching her. "Hi," She said quietly.

"Hi," He said, his voice barely above a whisper. She reached over, and turned the faucet back on, refilling the tub with the green goo.

"One more time in green and you might be able to finish the healing on your own. And I think one more thing of saline, okay?" She turned back to him, saw him nodding and smiled. She got up and grabbed the new bag, plugged it into his IV and sat down next to him. She closed her eyes, leaning her head against the tub. She felt his fingers moving her hair away from her eyes.

"I've missed you." She smiled, and looked at him, his hand clumsily trying to caress her cheek. "This is... You don't know me yet, do you?" She slowly shook her head.

"Sorry, but I don't. Not yet. We will talk, after you have healed, ok?" He nodded, laid his head back and closed his eyes.

* * *

She awoke to the sound of sloshing goo.

She tried to stand, but her body argued against her. Her neck, shoulders and back fought against her, but she managed to get to her feet, and saw that the Doctor was also trying to stand.

"Stay still, just a moment, let me get you a towel," She said, stepping over the pile of his clothes. She grabbed a towel from her en suite and came back out. "Shall I hose you off first?"

"No," He said, his arm reaching for the towel, while his other hand tried for some modesty. "I don't think my bladder will wait for it."

"Oh! Right!" She handed him the towel, and then held her hand out to help him out of the tub. She saw that he had already removed the IV on his own. "I'll just be here, if you need me, ok?" He nodded, but hurried to the loo. While he was gone, she picked up his clothes, and the Tardis removed all the other things that had been used to help him. She sat down on the chaise lounge that was near the foot of her bed, and waited for him.

* * *

She opened her eyes, feeling a soft touch along her jaw. She smiled seeing his blue eyes watching her.

"You fell asleep," He said.

"You took a shower." He nodded.

"Thank you, Shana. If you hadn't been here..." He looked over where the tub had been, and then looked back at her.

"If I hadn't been here, Rose would have done the same thing." He nodded, but Shana didn't think he believed her. "She was looking for you. You should go find her. And then... meet me in the kitchen? We really have to talk."

"Yeah," He said with a heavy sigh.

"What's wrong," she asked, afraid she may have missed some place else he was hurting.

"I... I'm sorry," He said, his eyes not leaving hers.

She furrowed her brow, not sure what he meant. "Sorry? For what?" And then, she quickly found herself pulled towards him, his arm wrapping tightly around her, his lips devouring hers. His lips crushed against hers, his teeth nibbling on her lower lip, and his tongue running along her teeth, begging for entrance. As quickly as it had started, the kiss ended, and he just held her, saying he was sorry, over and over.

"It's okay, Doctor." She held him, her hands holding his head as it rested on her shoulder. "Look, I am not going anywhere too soon, yeah? You have one thing you have to do, and then you have to drop Rose off for a few days... and then you have to help me, ok?"

She felt him inhale a long deep breath and his shoulders straighten up. "Right. Ok, I will go find Rose and then talk to you. Kitchen yeah?" She nodded and he leaned in, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "I am sorry."

She grinned at him, a grin he knew all too well. "I'm not. Now off you go. I gotta change outta these clothes. Green goo every where!" They laughed and he left, lighter in his steps. She closed the door behind him when he was gone, locking it again. It was not something she would normally do, but Adam was on-board. She sent a mental warning to the Tardis, who let her know she was understood.

She went to her en suite, and started the shower, stripped off her clothes hoping the Tardis will replace them since she had nothing with her, and stepped into the shower. She closed her eyes, letting the water beat the last few days into submission. She thought about her Doctor. Alone and in the Dark. And here she was... with his predecessor. And man can he kiss! No! Can't think about that... But... it's the same man... No. Not now. Focus. Finish the shower, get dressed, go eat, and then talk. Battle plan, right! And so, she did as the plan said.

* * *

He had found Rose in the kitchen, and Adam was there too. Adam's mouth was rolling non-stop and Rose was oblivious to him.

"Adam." The boy looked up at him, his last words still hanging on his teeth. "Go to bed."

"But I was-"

"Go to bed." Adam hesitated, and the Doctor turned the heat on a bit. "That wasn't a suggestion."

"Uh... ok... Right..." He looked one last time at Rose who paid him no heed and then the boy left. The Doctor couldn't hide his grin, seeing the very large hand shaped bruises he now wore on his neck.

The Doctor grabbed the kettle, and brought it over to where Rose was, refreshing her cup, and then poured some tea for himself. He sat down opposite Rose, and waited for her. After a few minutes, she still hadn't said a word, so he decided to break the ice.

"Everything okay Rose?"

"I couldn't find you," She said. "I looked all over, and the Tardis wouldn't help me."

"I'm here now," He said, and then offered her his large smile. Which she turned away from.

"Who is she," She asked.

"An old friend." He watched as Rose drank her tea quietly. "Rose, I am very sorry about closing you in with that Dalek. You have no idea how badly I hurt when I did that."

"I forgave you Doctor. You did the right thing. You always do the right thing." She yawned then, and stood, taking her cup to the sink. "I am going to bed." He nodded and watched her leave. Once she was gone from the room, he closed his eyes, his mind replaying again all that had happened, and again, how he had had to choose between Rose and everyone else.

"Any tea left?" He jumped at the words, surprised he hadn't noticed Shana come in.

"Yeah, on the counter." He watched Shana pour herself a cup, surprised she pulled her mug out of the cabinet. Watched her drop her honey combs in, licking her fingers of the sticky substance. She came and sat across from him, stirring her tea. She set the spoon down, closed her eyes and raised the cup to her lips. She took a long sip, and then set the mug down.

"What's the one thing," He asked. She looked at him, trying to figure out what he means. "You said... that I had one thing I had to do, and then drop off Rose. What's the one thing?"

"You are dropping me off?" Shana turned around quickly, and saw Rose standing there, a look on her face of... sadness and anger.

"No Rose, it's not-" Shana tried to explain but was cut off by Rose who raised her hand in Shana's direction while storming over to stand in front of the Doctor.

"Doctor! You just said you were dropping me off." She stood in front of them, arms crossed, and eyes that could melt wood.

"Rose," Shana began, but Rose cut her off.

"I am not talking to you. I am talking to the Doctor." Rose glared at her, her amber eyes reflecting the fire within.

Shana stood, and stared down the blonde. "I am talking to you. He has to drop you off at your house for a few days. I have a mission that you can _not_ be at."

"Why not," Rose asked, her back rigid, her stance firm.

"It could be detrimental to the person we will be trying to save," Shana explained. "The Doctor will return for you as soon as we are done."

Rose looked from Shana to the Doctor. "Is this true?"

The Doctor nodded. "There still is a lot of information Shana and I have to discuss, but yes. It's true."

"Okay then." Rose nodded and turned to Shana. She gave her a half-smile and apologized. "Sorry about... The..."

"I am sorry as well. I know what it's like, or seems like, and... sorry about that." Rose nodded again, and headed off to her room.

"Night Rose," The Doctor said as she left, and then turned to Shana. "'Detrimental to the person we will be trying to save'? Care to explain?"

"Yeah..." Shana sighed, feeling the weight of the days upon her. "God how I wish I knew you like you know me right now."

"Well, ya don't. But we can work on it," He said with a grin. "For instance, this is not where you like to talk." The Doctor stood up, and ushered her out of the kitchen. They walked down the corridors quietly, and she smiled, seeing he was taking her to the Atrium.

She took of her trainers, and he removed his boots, and they walked into the Atrium. Shana paused on the threshold, as she always does, closing her eyes and inhaling the life of the room. She let a long, slow exhale out as she opened her eyes.

She was slightly surprised as the Atrium didn't seem as big or as full of plant life like the other Tardis is. She felt a tug at her heart, thinking about that missing Tardis. They walked a bit, until they came to her favorite bench. They both sat, with the Doctor absentmindedly placing his arm across the back of the bench.

"It's another Doctor, isn't it?" His voice had cut the silence. She slowly nodded. "How bad is it?"

"I... I think he is dying," She whispered, the last word she had to force past her teeth.

"He can regenerate. You know that, obviously."

"Yeah... But I don't think he will. Not unless we can find out what happened to the Tardis."

"What do you mean? What happened to the Tardis," He asked loudly, his Northern accent ricocheting off the Atrium walls.

"We... Don't know... it just, disappeared."

"It just disappeared? The Tardis doesn't 'just disappear'. Someone had to take it... but not just anybody can fly it..."

"No, you don't understand. She landed, told us to go, as soon as we did, she was gone. She didn't dematerialize, she didn't fly away, she was suddenly gone." Shana's fingers caressed where her Tardis scar was, his eyes seeing the scar pattern under her fingertips.

"I... see..." They sat there, quietly, the sounds and smells of the environment relaxing her, as it always did. "You are very quiet."

"Am I? Sorry. It's hard... to think of what to say... Stuff I know... Well, it's not your time yet. And the stuff you know..."

"Yeah. But, I can make it easier on you," He said, his blue eyes lighting and a smile growing on his lips.

"Do tell, Doctor," She said, returning his grin.

"After it's all said and done... We can lock the memories down."

"Ohhh yeah, I forgot about that." He nodded and she smiled. "That could make life easier."

"So," The Doctor started, turning to face her. "Tell me everything that happened. Your last few drops, people you encountered, anything unusual, hell, anything normal too." She nodded and began telling him all she knew about all the stops since leaving the Shadow Proclamation.


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor had sat quietly, letting Shana tell her tale, taking in all the information. Every rare once in awhile he would ask a question, or probe further into something. To Shana it looked like she had his complete and undivided attention. And, for part of his brain, that was true. His brain was absorbing all the information, every word, every motion. It was even giving him ideas to go over later.

Then there was the other part of his brain. The one that made his eyes follow her every movement. Memorize how her hands would move, watch as she would push the same stray tendril of hair behind her ear fifty-three times. He saw how she would bite her lip when she wasn't certain about something, or when she would stop to catch her thoughts, saw how she would dig her toes into the top soil.

She had stopped talking. _How long ago did she stop talking?_

That wicked stray tendril had launched itself away from behind her ear again, and he smiled, his fingers going forward to tuck it back. It was a ploy, really, because doing so, he could run his finger lightly along the back of her ear and... yep! He kept the smile that was in his mind from showing on his face. He just loved how it would send a shiver through her, that simple touch. He closed his eyes, making himself not do what he wanted so desperately to do.

"Have you slept yet," He asked, breaking the silence. She shook her head and he nodded.

"Then, I think we have both earned some rest." She agreed, and they both headed back to their rooms. He walked her to her room, showed her where his was, and went to leave.

"Doctor..."

"Hmmm?"

"My door... I normally leave it open... in case I am needed." He nodded, knowing this was her way. "With Adam here..."

"Oi! Right. Well, the Tardis can make sure no one but you or I come down this hall. How does that sound?" Shana furrowed her brow at him.

"Rose doesn't have a room down here?"

"Nope. She's two corridors down. Had it changed because... Well... It just works better that way, right now." Shana nodded, and then, without thinking about it, she leaned up and kissed him. It was supposed to be a quick kiss. Just a goodnight kiss, but for a few seconds, it took on a life of its own as her hand reached up, and caressed his cheek she inhaled his sweet musky scent. She suddenly opened her eyes, remembering and let him go.

"Um... Goodnight Doctor," She stuttered as she turned and went into her room.

"Good night Shana," He returned slowly, a smile reaching his lips.

* * *

Shana had always been a good sleeper. It was rare when she had a hard time falling asleep, and tonight was no different. Falling asleep was the easy bit. Staying asleep... Not so easy. It seemed that every five minutes or so, she had to wake up, turn in her bed, or thought she had heard a sound. On the eighth time, she finally sat up.

"What the hell is going on that I can't sleep?" She, of course, hadn't expected an answer, but then she knew something was wrong. She jumped out of bed, and ran for the corridor.

Her first thoughts were that there was something wrong with this Tardis now. Once in the corridor, though, the pull came from the Doctor's room.

His door was open.

His door is never open.

She slowly and quietly went into his room. She didn't need lights, or to call out to him. She knew he was in a struggle.

She went to him, her mind sending out soothing thoughts, so he would know, on some level that she was nearby.

 _Doctor, it's Shana. I am here._ For a fraction of a second, his struggle eased. _I am here. It's okay. It's Shana, I am here._

She kept repeating that as she finally made it to the foot of the bed. At that distance, she could feel his fear as thick as a London fog. She could also feel he was aware that she was there. _I am here. It's Shana._

 _Shana? You left..._

 _I am here now._ She had reached the side of the bed. She couldn't tell if he was still asleep, or awake now. Then she felt his fingers wrap around her hand. "I am here."

"Did... I wake you," He asked. She smiled, and squeezed his hand.

"Yes, but it's okay. You needed me." He squeezed her hand again, and she squeezed back. "Do you want me to stay?" She knew the answer. She knew she didn't have to ask the question.

"Please. I promise, nothing will happen." Shana was glad for the dark, knowing how "nothing" had happened the last few times with her Doctor. She crawled into the bed, laying on her back. He turned and laid on his side facing her, his head on her shoulder. "I miss you so much," He whispered and he was back to sleep.

She laid there for awhile, going over the few items in her mind about him. The memories the other Doctor had given her. She knew that this Doctor was fierce, deadly, and had nearly nothing to live for.

 _They were here! Hundreds of them! Thousands of them! The universe was screaming in her head! There was fire and hate and anger and they were everywhere! Can't run! Can't scream! So many! So many dying! So many pleading! Nothing is going as planned! Everything is failing! Do it! No! They are here! Do it! No! They are coming! NO! DO IT! NO! DO IT! NO! EXTERMINATE! NO! DO IT! NO! YOU WOULD MAKE A GOOD DALEK! NO!_

She awoke, freeing her mind from the nightmare, and saw he was still in it. She gently laid her fingertips on his temple, caught the nightmare, and softly pulled it away from him, built a box of golden light, and tucked it within, and then hid it away in a corner of her mind. His breathing calmed and she kissed his forehead, moist from the night sweats. _Sleep now,_ She whispered in his mind, and she felt a long, slow sigh leave his body. She smiled, finding sleep again.

* * *

They had slept for five hours; A small eternity for a Time Lord. During those five hours, she had to soften his dreams three more times. He woke first, feeling more rested then he had in a long time. Since... Shana had left. He opened his eyes then, and saw she was there, with him again! And she was real! He remembered now. The day before, the asshole in Utah, Rose... and the Dalek.

Shana was here. She was back... well... no. This is her first time here. But it's ok. She was here, and that's all that mattered. He smiled. Her face looks so soft in the mornings, he thought. He gently ran a finger along her jawline, watching her smile in her dreams. He leaned down, telling himself he will steal just one kiss before she wakes. Only one... And then his lips lightly caress hers. He feels her lips move against his as they searched for a second kiss. Her lips welcome his, her teeth nipped at his lip, and he released a quiet moan, barely above a whisper and his tongue traced her lips. Her tongue came out and meet his, welcoming him and he was soon tasting her lips, her teeth, her tongue. He ran his tongue along the roof of her mouth and she moaned, opening her eyes, fully awake.

She didn't pull away from him, but she did slowly bring the heat down from a boil to a simmer, and then to warm. He had his hand on her cheek, the other behind her head, his forehead against hers, whispering he was sorry, again. She placed both of her hands gently on his cheeks, and made him look at her. _Don't apologize, ok?_ He closed his eyes. _Look at me. It's okay._ She knew that he didn't believe her. So she decided she will just have to prove it. _Trust me?_

He looked at her, and though not as quickly as the day before, he did answer her. "Always."

She gently pulled his head back towards her, bringing his lips to hers. As before, her teeth nipped at his lower lip, and her tongue went beyond his lips, running along his teeth, pushing them further apart, allowing her tongue to go deeper. Her fingers caressed his ear, tracing it's shape while her other hand ran over his short hair. She felt his tongue dance with hers, and she smiled, her tongue withdrawling half way back to her lips, his following. She felt the tip of his tongue at the edge of her lips, and they she inhaled, sucking his tongue deep into her mouth, she let her breath go, and then pulled his tongue back again with another inhale. She slowly released his tongue, kissing his lips, and opened her eyes. She saw into the deep dark blackness of his pupils, as wide as a world.

"Should I apologize for that," She whispered, slightly out of breath.

 _Never._ She smiled a small smile, kissed his lips softly, and let him go.

 _You have a mission for the day,_ She said, her hands still both holding his face to hers.

 _Will you join us?_ She heard the edge of hope in the question, but shook her head no.

 _Not this time. I am still rather tired,_ She smiled and he grinned back. _If it's okay with you... I am just going to sleep here, ok?_

 _I'd have it no other way,_ he replied, but she was already sound asleep.

* * *

Showered, and refreshed in clean clothes, good boots, and a wonderful night's sleep should have made him a very content man. Seeing Shana sound asleep on his bed just put him over the top. He put his leather jacket on, double checking the pockets for his screwdriver and psychic paper, he quietly left his room, closing his door. The Tardis quickly hid the door, and he smiled at her, patting the wall with a loving hand. As he walked past Shana's room, he saw that door close and disappear as well.

 _The Tardis always did like Shana,_ he thought.

Rose was in the Console room, smiling all bright and shiny. Adam was no where to be found. Yet.

"Doctor?" He looked up at Rose and smiled. "Can, I ask a favor?"

"You could, but I already know what you are going to say, and I already planned on it." He nodded his head, his blue eyes wide as saucers and she laughed. "As soon as we land, we will check it out and you will have the information." He winked at her and she smiled, sticking that wicked tongue of her out the side of her mouth.

"So, where we going?" She skipped over to where he was, about as happy as he was.

"Dunno yet. Tell ya what, you flip that switch there..."

"This one," Rose asked, pointing at one of the random toggles on the coral console. The Doctor nodded, and she flipped it.

"And turn this knob to blue..." He watched as she turned it. "And then..."

"Morning," Adam said, coming up from behind them yawning deeply and scratching his head.

"Good morning. You are just in time. Rose was about to fly us to the next destination."

"She is?" Adam asked, at the same time Rose's eyes opened wide in a slight bit of shock.

"Yep," He said, popping that last p sound rather proudly. "All she has to do it hit that red button there." He pointed and she hit it.

Rose was overjoyed, the Doctor was rather proud, and Adam was... turning green.

All had gone smoothly.

Rose and the Doctor left first, figured out all the pertinent information, and Rose  
relayed it like it was her millionth trip. The Doctor was pleased, and Adam... fainted.

"That's your boyfriend," The Doctor quipped, trying very hard to not laugh.

"Not anymore," Rose replied.

* * *

All had gone smoothly.

Satellite 5, the year 200,000 and despite the fact that it was the height of the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire, there wasn't a single alien species to be seen.

Save two.

Adam got a port installed in his skull, Rose and the Doctor had been found out, and thanks to Adam and his port, the Editor learned everything about Rose, the Tardis, the Time Lords and the Doctor.

Luckily, they were saved by a reporter, who also locked Adam out of the system, and things went very bad for the Editor and the Jagrafess.

* * *

Ok... So it hadn't gone as smoothly as it could have.

As soon as they had gotten back to the Tardis, the Doctor took Adam by the cuff of his shirt, and threw him into the jump seat.

"Rose, go find Shana."

Rose looked at Adam, and then back to the Doctor. "No. The moment I leave you, you will kill him."

"Rose, go find Shana," The Doctor said, his voice carrying a sound that human ears never hear. Its echo making the skin instinctively shiver and the hairs on their arms rise up.

"I won't do it." She stood there. Nineteen years old, and staring down the Oncoming Storm.

"I am here," Shana said, a towel in hand as she scrubbed her hair dry. "Doctor, your hand please?"

The Doctor looked at her, and then turned to Adam as he laid his hand, palm up, out to Shana. It was a trick she had said she had learned not to long ago, and one she used rarely. The Doctor understood that with a quick brush of her fingers she could see the last six hours that had happened. Her fingers barely graced his palm and she whirled around, her eyes burning holes into Adam.

"You never learn. Un-frickin-believable. You never fucking learn!" She stomped over to him, her face stopping within inches of his. His hand instinctively raised up to his throat where her mark from the day before was still a dark shade of purple. "I helped your slimy little ass get you into places you thought you needed to be. And any time anyone helps you, you take and take and take. And when we learn who you are, and how you are, you steal. And when that isn't good enough... You don't know, do you? You have no damn clue. You do... You did..." Shana inhaled, trying to bring herself back into control.

"Adam... Let me give you a clue." She pointed a bold, rock solid finger at the Doctor. "That is the Oncoming Storm. He is the Destroyer of Worlds. He will sacrifice EVERYTHING to save as many people, planets, universes... And HE is keeping you alive." She inhaled deeply, looking at Rose. "And She! She is Rose Tyler! She-" She stopped for a moment, remembering when she was. "She gave you a chance. And you nearly killed her!"

Shana closed her eyes for a moment, she was boiling, the air around her heating. She slowly opened her eyes, and stared at Rose. In a very calm voice she directed Rose to leave the room. Rose didn't leave, but she was no longer so sure of herself. She looked at the Doctor who only nodded. _I wont kill him, Rose. The Tardis wont let me._ Rose turned back to Shana, her eyes the size of small moons.

It was a lie. She had just told the Bad Wolf a bold face lie in front of the heart of the Tardis.

She is going to hell.

But she will send Adam there first.

She waited "calmly" as Rose slowly left. She closed her eyes again, and turned back around to face Adam.

"I have something for you, Adam. I have something for you that you should have been given a long time ago. Had I known I could give it to you... I would have. Unknowingly endangering the human race, and time is one thing. Endangering Rose, is another. Endangering the man I love... That took balls... But, ya know what? If you remember, I tried to kill you before that. So there has to be something... something in our past, that you did, that would drive me to want to destroy you. Haven't you wondered? Or, is it that you just don't care?" Her face was in front of his, her eyes boring into his. She was so close, she could check his very fast pulse by the blood vessels in his eyes.

"I have something to give you, and you will never, ever forget it. And you will never forget them. The Sheep you sent to slaughter." His eyes grew wider at that. He backed up on the jump seat, but there was no place for him to go.

"Make her stop. Get her away from me," He begged, but the Doctor stood by, leaning against the console, arms crossed. He didn't know what she had planned, but whatever it was, Adam did deserve it. And besides that, the Tardis wouldn't let her kill him. Not while he was on board. He was pretty sure the Tardis wouldn't let her kill him. Well, mostly sure. He watched as her fingers reached up to Adam's temples. Adam screamed a few seconds after her touch. His scream never changed pitch or volume. He never stopped for breath, and it was then that the Doctor saw Shana was screaming too, tears running down her cheeks. He couldn't pull her away. Not with that kind of touch. Anyone who touched them would be caught in the transfer.

Suddenly, the scream stopped. The Doctor watched as Shana slowly removed her fingers from his temples. Adam was not "all there" at the moment. Shana was a bit weak, but she smiled a half smile at the Doctor.

"I think... I over did it," She said, her voice rasping. "He wont remember it, yet. In a few days he will, when his brain has accepted it." The Doctor nodded at her words, but was more worried at her state. She looked up at him, falling into his arms as she succumbed to the darkness that swallowed the room.

* * *

The Doctor carried Shana to his room, worried that each step jostled her. He stopped too many times to check her pulse or see if she was breathing. Twice he even paused to lean up against the corridor and pray to gods he didn't know, that she would be okay.

He carefully laid her down on the bed, removed her shoes, and covered her with the duvet.

He placed a hand on the wall, felt the Tardis thrum beneath his touch. "Watch her, please. Let me know as soon as she comes around. I have to take the trash out. And, Old Girl, don't let anyone down the hallway to mine or her room." He felt her touch, like a graceful nod of agreement, and he headed quickly back to the Console room.

* * *

"Where is Shana," Rose asked, having come back in to check to see how many dead there were.

"Not now Rose," He muttered, his fingers moving quickly on the Console, setting the Tardis in flight.

"Where is she, Doctor?" The Doctor spun around, he bit back words before they could fly out. Not a talent he normally succeeds in.

"Not. Now. Rose." Rose bit back on her lip, seeing the Doctor in a light she hadn't seen before. The Tardis landed with a hard thump, tossing Adam off the jump seat. The Doctor grinned at that, knowing the Tardis just got her two credits in.

The Doctor stomped over to where Adam had landed, his last step stopping a half inch from Adam's nose. He bent down and grabbed the boy from the scruff of the neck and half dragged/half throwing him out of the Tardis.

The Doctor didn't stay long getting back into the Tardis, Rose followed quickly behind him. Right before he got to the Console, he remembered one thing he forgot to tell the boy. "Stay here Rose," he said as he headed back out there.

He walked right up to Adam, as close to his nose as Shana had been. But where she raised her voice to carry across her thunder, the Doctor became very quiet.

"Adam, one last thing... Shana was right. I am known as the Oncoming Storm. I have also been called the Destroyer of Worlds. It's because of me you live now. Nod if you understand that." Adam nodded, feeling the bruises around his neck. "You failed to ask the one very important question that is vital to your existence. You failed to ask what she is known as."

"What... is she known as," Adam asked, his voice hoarse and cracking.

"That is the question that will haunt you until the day you die. Oh, and one last thing... No one will stop her the next time you cross her path." And with those words, he cocked his head to the side, gave him his widest, toothiest grin, and left Adam alone.

* * *

The Doctor had sent Rose off to pack her bag. She wasn't eager to do it, but the Doctor had explained to her, again, why she had to go. And he had promised her three days, no more then that. He would return in three days.

The Doctor escorted Rose to her mother's flat, his mind far from being in the moment. He had put this off as long as he could, and now the Time Lord was out of time. He steeled himself for the inevitable Tyler slap from her mother, but as they approached the door, Jackie flung it open, wrapping her arms tightly around her daughter. She gave a dirty look at the Doctor, but he was rather surprised to find that was all she tossed his way.

After a few minutes, the Doctor felt the Tardis call him and he had to leave.

Rose came up to him, giving him a very tight, warm hug. "Three days, yeah?"

"Three days," He said, nodding. "I promise."

"Not three years. Three days."

"On my honor, Rose." Rose nodded, and let him go. She watched from the balcony as he ran back to the Tardis. He opened the door, and halfway in, he turned around, waved at her, and hollered up at her. "Three days! I promise!"

Rose watched the Tardis dematerialized, and began to count the minutes.

* * *

As he set the Tardis to flight, the Doctor thought about all Shana had told him. He'd been alone for awhile now. The last. It wasn't even just the physical part of being alone. No planet, no home, no friends or family. He never realized, how much a part of him they were, until they were gone, and that warm buzz in his mind was suddenly not there.

He sat down on the jumpseat, his mind taking him back to that moment.

They had been losing... No. They had lost the war... They just hadn't been ready to admit it. What was worse... His people had changed. He still gets a bitter taste in his mouth as he remembers their "Final Sanction". Deciding they were gods. Deciding they could cause a rupture in time... Destroy all of creation. He knew he had done the correct thing. He knew he had been right. He knew that they couldn't survive. He knew he wouldn't survive.

And yet, here he was. Against all reason and understanding, he was here. The worst part of surviving wasn't being alone. It was the emptiness in his mind.

He could never imagine the Tardis being gone as well. That would be like... It would be hell. He wouldn't know how he would live with that, with her gone. He felt the Tardis then, her tender touch letting him know she was there.

"Old Girl... I hope you can help when we get there." He felt her nudge again, and he smiled. He felt Shana again, then. In his mind, in that corner that is now always empty. His hearts ache, thinking of her. He closed his eyes again, inhaling deeply and then headed back to check on her.

She slowly woke from her dreamless sleep. Her body felt relaxed, and her mind was surprisingly calm. She felt a weight on her right side, and turned to see the Doctor next to her. He was asleep on his side, his arm laying on hers, his hand draped over her shoulder.

Her left hand reached over to touch him and his eyes immediately opened. "Good morning," He whispered, raising his head from next to her shoulder. She smiled, and he raised her hand to his lips, softly pressing a kiss to her palm.

"How are you feeling," She asked, smiling at the gentle kiss.

"It's as if Utah had never happened," He said. His blue eyes pierced her. "Thank you, by the way. Not sure if I had said it to you, but thank you."

"And I should thank you. Didn't know that... doing that to Adam would affect me as badly." He laid a kiss on her shoulder and pushed some of her stray hairs away from her face. "Are they gone?" The Doctor nodded. "Is... is Adam still alive?"

"Yes," He said, watching her closely. She closed her eyes, exhaling a slow breath, and then did her little nod. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really..." He nodded, understanding. "I need to use the loo," She said as she leaned over, kissing his forehead. He watched her make her way to the en suite. She soon came back out, and saw that the room was no longer as dark as it had been, and there was a small table and two chairs set up. A light meal of sandwiches and sodas were there, waiting. Shana looked over at the Doctor, raising an eyebrow in query.

"Don' look at me! This is what the Tardis does for you." He got up and came over to the table. He pulled out a chair and motioned for her to sit. She sat, and watched him as he scrubbed at his closely cropped hair and plopped down in the seat opposite hers. "Nine hundred years, ya know. And she does this for you."

"And never for you," she said. He shook his head no, but it hadn't been an answer.

"Oh, she has liked some of the other companions. She tries to talk to Rose all the time, but she isn't... She says Rose isn't ready to hear her yet." He grabbed one of the drinks and unscrewed the top, taking a short swig of it. Shana took a bite out of a pickle and turkey sandwich, sending a thank you thought to the Tardis.

"Yeah, it's a bit before Rose can hear her." The Doctor looked up at Shana, tucking that bit of info into his mind. They sat there, quietly, eating. The Doctor watched her, smiling at her petite nibbles of her sandwich, aware she wasn't fully there. "I wanted to kill him, ya know," She said into the quiet.

"I know," He said, nodding.

"Sad thing is... he does have intelligence. He's just so damn lazy. I am sorry. I didn't know what happened there. Not until I touched your palm. And, I thought that after all this time, that he may have changed. Had learned his lesson. Apparently, some zebras never change their stripes." She sighed, finishing her sandwich. "I did tell Rose to not trust him," She said as an after thought.

"Eh," he said, his Northern accent pulling at the sound. "She's a sucker for lost causes and puppy dogs."

"So you are doomed then, eh?"

"Oi!" He exclaimed, smiling at her and she laughed. "So, you have co-ordinates for me, yeah?" She nodded.

He watched her, her eyes were lost in thought, her fingers picking at the crust of her bread on her uneaten half sandwich. "What's wrong?" She looked up at him and tried to give him a smile.

"You are so different... From him." He looked away. He knew she was going to say that. Had waited for it. He was actually surprised it had taken this long. "I would love to get to know you more... but, I guess that is going to be later for me, huh?"

"Yeah," He sighed. He finished his meal and sat back, watching her. She seemed to have lost interest in her meal, and was in deep thought. "Shana? What else is on your mind?"

"I am... starting to feel a bit... lost I think." He sat up, leaning forward on the table, his arms crossed, his elbows pushing his plate out of the way.

"How so?"

"There will be... three of you there, when we get there... and... I don't think I will know how to be. I know you are all the same person, but who..." He nodded, smiling.

"Is that all?"

"Is that all? Yeah, that's all."

He smiled, reaching for her hand again. "The one whose time is current is the who has the priority. Does that help?"

"We're time travelers... how do you know which one is current," She asked in a huff, and he laughed.

"Well... I think, that in this case, we'll re-word it, shall we? The one whose relationship with you is current, is the one who has a priority. Does that help now?"

"Yeah, but... won't you feel hurt?"

"Shana, we live a different life then you are used to. It's not all linear."

"Yes, I know," She said, rolling her eyes. "It's all 'wibbley-wobbley, timey-whimey'."

"What the hell does that mean?" She looked at him and laughed.

"It's what he says all the time," She grinned at the look of shock on his face. She had to do her impression, so she stood up, and waved her hand saying, "Eh... Wibbley-wobbley, timey-whimey."

"Please tell me you are kidding." She sat back down, face as solid as a rock. He had his jaw hanging half open, and his eyes looked at her as if she had sprouted a third head. "What the hell happens to me? Do I become a bumbling fool? That's it. Nope, I ain't dying. 'Wibbley-wobbley'... Oh Rassilon is falling out of his chair over that one." They laughed then, and Shana could just try to picture this tall, muscular, war hardened man trying to pull off the same sentences, and just couldn't imagine it. The same man, but so different.

"Well, I want to run some diagnostics on the Tardis before we head to your time. I want to make sure that everything checks out. Don't want her disappearing too." Shana looked up at him suddenly, fear jumping from her eyes.

"It's the same Tardis. You don't think... She won't disappear too, do you?"

"No. I am pretty sure she will be ok. I just want to make sure we do what we can to at least know she is fine." Shana nodded, understanding but still pocketed some of that fear.

Shana had brought him the co-ordinates his other had supplied, and it seemed rather straight-forward and to the point. The note was written in Gallifreyan, and he knew from long experience that though she may be half-Time Lord, she could not read it. It was a good thing she couldn't. The note had the co-ordinates, but, along with that was a warning: When they arrive, to do an immediate scan for any Tardis. If there is no response, Leave.

Apparently his other is as worried as Shana is, over losing the Tardis.

He set to calibrating the Tardis. His mind always seemed to settle while repairing his ship.

* * *

Shana had gotten dressed, choosing a pair of yoga loungers, a loose tee-shirt and a pair of Converse. She left her room and felt like just going for a walk. She greeted the Tardis in her mind and felt her greet back. She smiled and then asked her if she could show her a place she hadn't found yet. Some room that was new to her. She felt the tickle of the Tardis respond back and then felt her beckon. She followed the call, her hand running along the walls as she had seen her Doctors do before. It felt, like a natural thing, touching the corridors. It may have been similar to... Petting a dog, or scratching a cat's ear. Not that the Tardis is a dog, nor a cat... but it's just that absent-minded reaction to show care. She felt the tickle in her mind and smiled wondering if that was what the Tardis does to her.

Shana came to a doorway she didn't quite remember seeing before, and noticed it was slightly ajar. She entered, the door closing behind her. As she made her way in, she had to admit, she was very far from impressed this time.

The room, though it was about the same size as the Console room, it was empty save two reclining chairs in the center. The walls, floors and ceiling were a depressing shade of grey, and the walls arced up into the center of the ceiling, similar to the museum IMAX theatres she had been to.

She walked over to the gray leather recliner, and sat down. She let out a quick gasp as she realized it hadn't been leather, but gel. The whole chair was made of some gel that conformed to her body. It warmed up instantly to her body temperature making it feel like she wasn't sitting on anything at all.

As she got used to the odd chair, moving her body and feeling it move with her, the lights slowly dimmed down until she was surrounded completely by total darkness. In the next second, the room was filled with stars. Stars, galaxies, nebulae... It was as if she were floating through the universe. The scenes around her change, sometimes she is just floating there, and sometimes flying to somewhere. The stars weren't just on the walls, they surrounded her like she was a goddess, comets flying past her nose, she could run her fingers through asteroid field. It was beyond amazing.

* * *

He had managed to rewire a few bits that had frayed and fused themselves to each other, but his mind was only half there. He kept thinking about Shana. Those lovely silver eyes that always saw him. Not the image of who or what he was, but that man that he is. The way she could so lightly touch his skin, and as light as the touch was, it was so very intimate. The way her body fit to his, like a glove. He wondered, as he always did, if when she is with the other Doctors, does her body not fit theirs. It would be a shame if that was something he would lose with regeneration.

A spark flew from the wiring he held in his hand, burning his finger tip. He quickly popped it in his mouth giving the wiring a dirty look.

He went back to work, trying to focus more on the wiring, the crystals, the motherboards... Trying very hard to not think of the Shana that he knew. Resetting his mind that the current Shana is new to everything, not just him. Even though she fits the same way, sleeps the same way, touches him the same way...

Another spark flew out, this time burning a hole in his jumper.

"What the hell is your problem," he hollered at the Tardis. Another series of sparks flew at him. He dropped his sonic screwdriver during the melee of electrical heat and finally he withdrew from under the console. "Ok, I get it. I'll take a break and a cold shower. Satisfied?" He took off his jacket, and threw it over the jumpseat as he left the Console room. Looking down at the swiss cheese that was now his shirt, he swore under his breath about matchmaking ships that need to work on their tailoring.

As he walked to his room, his thoughts drifted again to Shana. Every time he sees her, he has to hold back the one question he wants more then anything else to ask. Everything had been good. Not great, but good. Nothing can ever be perfectly great. But sometimes, in a rare moment of universal harmony, everything can be perfectly good. They had been happy, or, she was helping him find how to be happy again.

He would wake in the middle of the night, and find her holding him, her face sometimes serene and glowing. He loved those moments, when he would wake in the middle of the night, seeing her asleep next to him, and that amazing smile on her lips. No one he ever met ever smiled while they slept. It was such an amazing thing. It was... the perfect grace.

There were those other times, when she would save him from nightmares, taking them from him. They never talked about the nightmares, or how she would remove them for him. He would surely have gone mad if it hadn't been for her though. After she left, the nightmares continued. They had added another theme, of course, of him searching for her.

Sometimes the dreams had been so real, he would wake up in her room, or even, a few times in the Atrium... And, once... Just once, he woke to find himself in the furthest corner of the Hall of Memory.

He stopped, closing his eyes hard, taking that memory and shoving it deep into his mind. He refuses to remember that.

He opened his eyes, seeing that during his musings he had wandered well into the Tardis. He opened the door to his left, and entered. The Door shut quickly behind him, but he didn't notice it. He smiled at his lovely ship, as he saw Shana in front of him, sitting on a lounger. He walked over and sat next to her, surprise suddenly engulfing him as the chair warmed and fitted around him. He smiled, seeing the surroundings change, and looked over to see Shana flying next to him.

"Hi," She said sounding a bit surprised.

"Hi," He grinned back. "What did you find here?"

"Isn't this awesome!" He laughed, watching her swim through an ocean of stars. A comet shot between them and he batted at it, making it shoot off into another direction. "What is this place?"

"I dunno. Never saw it before." He smiled, thinking about how much his Tardis likes her.

He was a bit jealous of it for a second, but then he remembered. The Tardis brought Shana to him, so he has everything he needs. He swam over to her, his hand reaching for hers, and she gave it, allowing him to pull her into his arms.

"Ever want to dance among the stars?" He asked. She smiled, her left hand taking his right hand, her right hand reaching up for his neck and she settled her head on his shoulder.

He sighed, his left arm wrapping around her waist, their bodies moving to a slow lover's dance as the Tardis started playing some quiet, sweet, romantic music. He leaned his head down, pressing his lips to her hair, inhaling her sweet scent. All those nights after she had left... This was all he wanted. Another night to hold her, to dance, to feel her in his arms. He held her closer, wanting to remember every second.

 _How long was I gone before you found Rose,_ she asked, her thoughts bringing him back to the present.

 _For me... about a year. I just... I just couldn't...,_ He sighed. He couldn't even find the words. He kissed her head again, resting his cheek on the crown of her hair. _I was lost, when you left._

 _I'm sorry,_ She said, feeling the pain she will cause.

 _You can't be sorry for something you haven't done,_ He said, broadcasting a smile to her, She removed her left hand from his and dropped her right from his neck, wrapping both around his waist, pulling him as close to her as she could. _I am so glad you are here._ He closed his eyes, memorizing every moment he has with her.

They danced for an eternity. Time moved around them, or slowed around them as the stars watched over them. The music that drifted in carried them into dreams, and the Doctor, for all his hardness, stubbornness and arrogance, found that he was simply a man in love. He ran a finger thorough her hair, pulling away the few strands that had gotten caught in a bit of morning stubble on his chin. His fingers traced her soft hairline down behind her ear, and then ran his fingers along her jawline, bringing her face up to look at him.

His fingers held their place under her jaw, and his thumb brushed along her cheek. Her half-lidded silver eyes caressed his features. His thumb traced her lips, her jaw relaxing to his touch. He leaned in, his lips barely touching hers. First, they kissed her upper lip, and then her lower lip. He moved his head back a bit, watching her face, as he licked his lips. She smiled, her hands running up his chest, and then wrapping themselves again around his neck as he leaned in for another kiss.

His lips were cool and caring, gently rubbing against hers. She felt his tongue trace them, and she opened her lips to the caress. Her hands ran through is short stubble of hair, and she felt his breathy sigh enter her lips as his tongue licked at her. She let her tongue greet his, entice it into her mouth by flicking at it, and pulling back before repeating. She felt his hand move from her jaw, his finger softly tracing down her neck to the collar of her shirt before tracing back up. His tongue was floating along her teeth, his lips crushed against hers. Then, she felt his finger caress her ear. She moaned a soft sound, felt his lips become a smile when he found one spot that always made her shiver.

 _Foreknowledge is a wicked thing,_ He whispered to her mind, his finger leaving her ear. His tongue left her mouth slowly, but hers followed his. Her tongue had just started to feel his lips when he inhaled, pulling her tongue within. His lips entrapped her tongue, and his tongue flicked and rubbed against hers. She felt his fingers, through the haze of delight his tongue was giving her, move down her sides, and slowly pull her shirt up. His calloused fingers delighted along her, their cool touch raising the hairs on her skin.

Her tongue played in his mouth now, as part of his attention was diverted away. She ran the tip of her tongue along the roof of his mouth, and felt his moan through her body. She nibbled on his lower lip, releasing it to caress his tongue, before going back to a nibble on his lip again. She felt his fingers unhook her bra and her eyes opened as she felt him pull away from her.

His eyes were dark, the deep blue barely showing around the lusty pupils. His fingers gathered her shirt and pulled it off over her head. She reached for his shirt, pulling it off him as well. Her fingers traced the few lines that still showed from Utah, but there wasn't anymore pain. She leaned forward, kissing the lines until he pushed her back. She frowned, but he smiled, his fingers reaching for the straps to her bra and slowly removing it, letting the silk straps drag along her arms.

It was then, that she noticed they were in his room. There were still stars everywhere, and he smiled. He took her hand and walked over to the edge of his bed. He sat down, and brought her to sit on his lap. She turned, facing him, her legs wrapped around him, his eyes lost in hers. He ran his fingers up along her spine, pulling her closer to him, his lips craving hers again. The kiss was still a gentle kiss, her fingers weaved through his hair, her tongue caressing his again. It was the touch of his fingers on her breasts that made her moan deeply, enticing the kisses deeper.

His fingers cupped the weight of her breasts, his thumbs circling the nipples, feeling the pebbling of her areolas. She sighed deeply, as his lips left hers, trailing to her chin, up her jawline and then to her ear. His lips stayed at her ear as his finger tips rolled around and pinched her nipples. His moist breath flowed into her ear.

He whispered, "Still like being whispered to?" The few, moist, breathy words traveled down her spine, to the core of her lust. She heard him inhale, knew he smelled a change. Then his tongue softly rolled along the outside of her ear, setting off a shaky moan from her. His lips and tongue trailed a path down to her left breast. His hand left it, moving to support her as his tongue circled the nipple. She arched her back, glad his hand was there, but soon became lost as his other hand pinched, and pulled her other nipple.

His torture of her nipples soon switched, loving the one that had been pinched, and pinching the one that had been loved. Shana's mind was lost as her fingers caressed and encouraged, clinging to his head. Just as she thought she was going to be lost to all of time, she felt cool air hit both nipples. She opened her eyes, saw him watching her, his eyes a solid black, his lusty mouth teased her, hanging there empty.

The Doctor picked Shana up off his lap then turned and slowly laid her down on the bed. She watched as he took off his boots, and quickly removed his jeans and pants. She smiled, seeing all of him. Hard lines of muscle and bone. The epitome of a nearly perfect human.

He leaned down, kissing her, whispering "Oh really?" She laughed and his tongue took hers, into another deep, joyous kiss. His fingers moved slowly down her sides, the callous tips tickling her as they made their journey to the waist band of her pants.

She sighed into his kiss when his fingers wrapped at the waist band. She arched her back, making it easier for him, and in one swift, well practiced move, she was down to her knickers. He planted a kiss below her navel, but right above the band to her knickers, and then slowly made a path up her chest, between her breasts, up her neck, and then his lips met hers. She opened her lips, ready for his tongue to dance with hers, but it didn't. His lips, however, moved further, along her cheek bone to right below her temple.

"Shana," He whispered, his voice filled with desire and part fear. She turned to look at him, her hand reaching up to caress his cheek. She looked into his eyes, and saw there was fear.

 _What is it?_ He closed his eyes, worrying her. _What is it? What is wrong?_ He inhaled deeply, but hadn't responded back. She ran her hand along his forehead and then down his cheek. He laid his forehead against hers, and she felt his sigh run through his body. _Yes._

 _Yes?_ His eyes opened, he stared into hers, deeply as if searching for what she had said.

 _Yes. I trust you. Always._ He looked at her, his mind repeating that, his heart aching for a need. A need that hasn't been touched in a very long time. A need he could never ask his Shana for. His lips went back to hers, his mouth engulfing hers, and just when she had about run out of air, he carried his lips again to her temple. The fingertips of his right hand touched her temple as he kissed the other.

Her body exploded as it felt everything at once. She felt his fingers on her body searching her, and her fingers on his seeking to find. The air around them became solid and they were flying, or floating, or swimming. It didn't matter because everything that touched her sent her off into a micro orgasm. She felt sound waves beat into her body as he begged for her. Sounds from her own mouth sent waves of electric to him, and she felt it. Everything that was around them became everything to them. And it wasn't enough.

She needed more, she begged for more, her arms reached for him, and then suddenly, she exploded into a fiery golden light, and he held onto her, coming with her, going with her, promising her everything. She needed more, but he couldn't give it. She ached for more, but he was calling her back. She didn't want to stop. This was... everything. She could feel everything. She needed more, she reached for more, she called for more, she ran for more. It was grand. It was beautiful. It wasn't enough. Everything around her started to fade, the lights, the life, the feeling... it was disappearing, and she was falling. The absence of it as it left her ate at her heart.

It was gone.

 _Don't leave me Shana._


End file.
